Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[trainophile]

Bus drivers who don't understand English, and just shrug if you ask them something (e.g. "where do I get the bus back from?")

 

[Cowley]

People who drive slow, but speed up when you try and overtake them.

Yes absolutely!

 

[Jamesrob637]

People who drive slow, but speed up when you try and overtake them.

Some people might do it to keep you behind them and avoid a crash. A mate of mine is the most cautious driver ever but drives an A6 or somesuch with an immense amount of torque which he deploys literally twice a year, and probably in such situations!

 

[birchesgreen]

Some people might do it to keep you behind them and avoid a crash. A mate of mine is the most cautious driver ever but drives an A6 or somesuch with an immense amount of torque which he deploys literally twice a year, and probably in such situations!

Don't understand this at all.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Don't understand this at all.

Me neither!

 

[Ianno87]

Don't understand this at all.

Me neither!

Nope. Speeding up to avoid a crash is absurd.

 

[SuspectUsual]

People who allow their children to use mobile phones at the dinner table

 

[HST274]

People who allow their children to use mobile phones at the dinner table

I would say anyone who uses any device at the dinner table while eating, unless alone or it's breakfast. Whoops I just dropped some spaghetti on my laptop.

 

[158747]

Some people might do it to keep you behind them and avoid a crash.

Surely this would increase the likelihood of having a crash as it will be prolonging the time it takes the overtaking driver to complete his overtaking manoeuvre.

 

[Ediswan]

Surely this would increase the likelihood of having a crash as it will be prolonging the time it takes the overtaking driver to complete his overtaking manoeuvre.

Also contrary to Rule 168 of the Highway Code.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Also contrary to Rule 168 of the Highway Code.

Indeed. Sometimes wonder whether some folk on the road have ever read, or, if they have, understood, the provisions of the Highway Code.

168. Being overtaken. If a driver is trying to overtake you, maintain a steady course and speed, slowing down if necessary to let the vehicle pass. Never obstruct drivers who wish to pass. Speeding up or driving unpredictably while someone is overtaking you is dangerous.

 

[duncanp]

Can we ban the adverts for Santander Bank which feature The Bank of Antanddec?

OK we know that Antanddec sounds like Santander, and whilst it may have been funny the first time, it is getting <bleeping> irritating now.

And on a similar theme, don't even get me started on those wretched Meerkats. See if you can find me a nice cheap energy deal now.

 

[alex397]

Can we ban the adverts for Santander Bank which feature The Bank of Antanddec?

OK we know that Antanddec sounds like Santander, and whilst it may have been funny the first time, it is getting <bleeping> irritating now.

And on a similar theme, don't even get me started on those wretched Meerkats. See if you can find me a nice cheap energy deal now.

I’d ban all adverts. The vast majority seem to be full of cliches, cheesy humour, or just plain annoying.
At least the tired stereotypes of men being useless, women all being housewives and so on no longer seem to be allowed.

I now find adverts so annoying I refuse to watch anything ‘live’ (unless it’s BBC) and record programmes to watch later so I can skip the adverts. I’ve also stopped listening to commercial radio for the same reason.

 

[Strat-tastic]

The best place for an impatient driver is in front. That way you maintain control of the situation and lower the risk of an accident.

 

[Jamesrob637]

The best place for an impatient driver is in front. That way you maintain control of the situation and lower the risk of an accident.

I'd rather not see a crash in front of me as that would be traumatic. Nearly done so once.

 

[Ianno87]

The camera shutter sound effect on mobile phones.

 

[Strat-tastic]

I'd rather not see a crash in front of me as that would be traumatic. Nearly done so once.

Yes granted.
My thought is that it's in your power to avoid being involved.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

The camera shutter sound effect on mobile phones.

This might be an urban myth, but as I understand it the ability to deactivate this sound was removed (on Samsung handsets at least) in order to curb the practice of "upskirting"- which was apparently widespread a few years ago in South Korea among other places.

On a completely unrelated note, another one for the list:
People who pronounce "clique" as "click".

 

[birchesgreen]

You can disable the sound on an iPhone, not that i use my camera to take unsavoury photos (unless you are including Class 37s in that).

 

[PeterY]

I’d ban all adverts. The vast majority seem to be full of cliches, cheesy humour, or just plain annoying.
At least the tired stereotypes of men being useless, women all being housewives and so on no longer seem to be allowed.

I now find adverts so annoying I refuse to watch anything ‘live’ (unless it’s BBC) and record programmes to watch later so I can skip the adverts. I’ve also stopped listening to commercial radio for the same reason.

You sound like me. I avoid anything commercial as much as possible

 

[yorksrob]

The use of the word "electric" in place of electricity.

 

[gg1]

This might be an urban myth, but as I understand it the ability to deactivate this sound was removed (on Samsung handsets at least) in order to curb the practice of "upskirting"- which was apparently widespread a few years ago in South Korea among other places.

On my Samsung phone putting it on silent disables the camera click sound, although the only individual I take photos of without their consent is the cat.

 

[Pinza-C55]

On my Samsung phone putting it on silent disables the camera click sound, although the only individual I take photos of without their consent is the cat.

I'd ban the application of class name types like "Azuma" to trains. Just give them a class number rather than making them sound like a brand of cheese.

 

[py_megapixel]

I'd ban the application of class name types like "Azuma" to trains. Just give them a class number rather than making them sound like a brand of cheese.

I'm unsure how that is relevant to the post you have quoted...

 

[HST274]

I'm unsure how that is relevant to the post you have quoted...

Samsung cheese

 

[Ianno87]

People who, at supermarket checkout conveyorbelts, when buying 2 litre bottles of Coke/whatever, either:

-Stand them up so they instantly fall over when the conveyorbelt moves, or worse
-Lay them down crossways so they roll around.

Lay them lengthwise for crying out loud!

 

[duncanp]

People who, at supermarket checkout conveyorbelts, when buying 2 litre bottles of Coke/whatever, either:

-Stand them up so they instantly fall over when the conveyorbelt moves, or worse
-Lay them down crossways so they roll around.

Lay them lengthwise for crying out loud!

People behind you in the queue at the supermarket checkout who try and load their shopping on to the conveyor belt when there is not enough room, or who try to shove your shopping further up the conveyor belt to make more room for theirs.

Just wait for the conveyor belt to move forwards for ***** sake.

And then whilst you are trying to pack your shopping away, and pay for it at the same time, they sit tut-tutting about how long you are taking.

Look, I'm not an effing octopus with eight arms, so I can only do one thing at a time.

 

[ABB125]

-Stand them up so they instantly fall over when the conveyorbelt moves

You can do this, if you have enough other shopping to use to wedge the bottle upright with!

 

[nlogax]

YouTubers who like to advertise their latest clips with thumbnails of their faces in some god-awful contorted displays of wide-eyed amazement, inexplicable horror or down and out confusion. This annoying habit appears to be the particular domain of pilots, gamers and tech 'tubers.. I hate it. Make 'em stop.

 

[Peter C]

YouTubers who like to advertise their latest clips with thumbnails of their faces in some god-awful contorted displays of wide-eyed amazement, inexplicable horror or down and out confusion. This annoying habit appears to be the particular domain of pilots, gamers and tech 'tubers.. I hate it. Make 'em stop.

I'll continue this by banning anyone on YouTube who uses those stupid big red arrows on their thumbnails unironically. I'm perfectly capable of seeing what you've circled!

-Peter