Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Strat-tastic]

Do you ever listen to Dotun Adebayo on radio 5Live who does the slot between 01:00 and 05:00 on weekdays? He often does a programme where people call in to nominate their favourite song on a particular theme (e.g. songs that make you want to dance). He then proceeds to talk over the entire track, that he only plays a bit of anyway. I can't listen to him, have to have radio 4 on instead when he's on.

I do listen to him on catch up sometimes, but for the talk show element.
I miss the Monday morning grammar phone in. #Grammar Pedant

 

[Spamcan81]

DJs talking over song intros before the vocals begin.
Kindly respect the artists and musicians who are having their say and are just as important as the vocalist.
They ought to be made to write 100 times, "The sound of my voice isn't as beautiful as I imagine it to be."
Ha!

+1

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I could never understand why so many people seem to like Cola. To me, it tastes foul - even worse than if p*ss was the only thing to drink.
I used to prefer apple juice or orange juice, but now have to abstain because the makers tend to overload them with far too much sugar.

If you buy apple/orange juice that calls itself that, it almost certainly won't have any added sugar. If the bottle or carton says "juice drink" then it's the adulterated stuff.

Speaking of juice, people over the age of 4 who call any non-carbonated fruity beverage "juice" even if it's squash or the aforementioned syrupy muck.

 

[Paul Jones 88]

Books with ridiculously small print should be banned and burnt.

 

[Gloster]

Speaking of juice, people over the age of 4 who call any non-carbonated fruity beverage "juice" even if it's squash or the aforementioned syrupy muck.

When I was around four years old I caused a certain amount of consternation in a shop by pointing at a bottle of Teacher’s Whisky and saying, “Daddy’s juice.” (My father was a very modest drinker, but in those days it was always a small glass of Teacher’s.)

 

[Ianno87]

Radio traffic reports. With modern satnavs etc with traffic features are they even still useful any more?

Every time I try listening to one they rattle through them so fast, and you can't prick your ears up fast enough when they mention somewhere that is relevant, so you miss information that is actually useful.

 

[trainophile]

Long interviews on the radio that don’t finish by repeating who the interviewee was. If you miss the beginning (most of us probably only have half an ear paying attention in the mornings) and it turns out to be interesting you’re left trying to work out who it was.

 

[gg1]

I could never understand why so many people seem to like Cola. To me, it tastes foul - even worse than if p*ss was the only thing to drink.

Exactly how I feel about coffee, with the added bonus you're forced to taste coffee without actually drinking it thanks to the vile stench of the stuff, at least cola is virtually odourless.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

When I was around four years old I caused a certain amount of consternation in a shop by pointing at a bottle of Teacher’s Whisky and saying, “Daddy’s juice.” (My father was a very modest drinker, but in those days it was always a small glass of Teacher’s.)

Okay, I'll allow that as it's pretty funny!

I can imagine your parents frantically trying to explain to anyone else who was in earshot: "no no, he's just a very advanced reader, and his daddy is a teacher!"

 

[ScotRail158725]

Christmas items in September

My morrisons store took delivery of these yesterday

Not to mention the tons of Quality Street, Celebrations etc… which have been on display for 2 weeks now

 

[trainophile]

I’ve noticed a few mentions on the TV News about “now we’re coming up to Christmas”. Please, give us a break this year!

 

[birchesgreen]

People who only eat mince pies at xmas.

I can eat them all year round, Waitrose usually sell them until about May.

 

[nlogax]

People who only eat mince pies at xmas.

I can eat them all year round, Waitrose usually sell them until about May.

Add to that, people who don't like Christmas pudding. Christmas pudding should be available throughout the year, it's wonderful.

 

[Ianno87]

I’ve noticed a few mentions on the TV News about “now we’re coming up to Christmas”. Please, give us a break this year!

The John Lewis Christmas advert.

(Personally associate it with a year I was having a rough time)

 

[HST274]

People who only eat mince pies at xmas.

I can eat them all year round, Waitrose usually sell them until about May.

Agreed. No shops near me sell them post Xmas and I personally would ban not eating them all year round (unless they have Xmas related decor)

 

[yorksrob]

I'll be getting a tub of quality Street at the first opportunity !

 

[Peter C]

I'll be getting a tub of quality Street at the first opportunity !

We got one a few days ago (they were on special offer - around £3.50). Odd having them in September but they still taste nice!

-Peter

 

[MotCO]

Radio traffic reports. With modern satnavs etc with traffic features are they even still useful any more?

Every time I try listening to one they rattle through them so fast, and you can't prick your ears up fast enough when they mention somewhere that is relevant, so you miss information that is actually useful.

In a similar vein, motorway gantry signs saying A21 closed after A236 junction - how do I know where the A236 is? Please say after Tunbridge Wells. (Other roads are available )

 

[adrock1976]

Gino D'Acampo.

He always seems to pop up everywhere with his overinflated ego.

There was a report in the Metro a couple of years ago that he was whinging about a loss of privacy at home due to a footpath being publicised that ran past his residence. Of note, he never considered Paul Young's loss of privacy all those years ago when he broke into Young's home and nicked his guitar collection, but D'campo subsequently became a house guest of Lizzie Windsor when he got caught housebreaking.

 

[Ianno87]

In a similar vein, motorway gantry signs saying A21 closed after A236 junction - how do I know where the A236 is? Please say after Tunbridge Wells. (Other roads are available )

Yes. Some of them do seem to assume you have encyclopediac knowledge of road and junction numbering.

 

[SuspectUsual]

In a similar vein, motorway gantry signs saying A21 closed after A236 junction - how do I know where the A236 is? Please say after Tunbridge Wells. (Other roads are available )

Which reminds me. The sign on the southbound M6 near Cannock that says “M6 Toll Clear” 99% of the time but doesn’t mention the main M6. Presumably a sign designed to maximise toll revenues rather than give drivers the best information

 

[trainophile]

Likewise when Google maps gives directions commencing with ”walk south east”. Can’t they just say “turn left onto Main Road”?

 

[Ianno87]

Which reminds me. The sign on the southbound M6 near Cannock that says “M6 Toll Clear” 99% of the time but doesn’t mention the main M6. Presumably a sign designed to maximise toll revenues rather than give drivers the best information

Well, the divergences of the M6 and M6 Toll at each end give priority to the Toll, so hope to "trick" you to use the Toll Road (as you have to turn off to remain on the M6)

 

[birchesgreen]

In a similar vein, the poor standard of road signs. Its a PITA following directions for Somename Road when you can't find this road because it isn't signed properly!

 

[Ianno87]

In a similar vein, the poor standard of road signs. Its a PITA following directions for Somename Road when you can't find this road because it isn't signed properly!

That reminds me - those pretentious streets that don't have odd numbers on one side and even numbers on the other, because that's "common", and just increase by 1 on each side of the road.

(Apologies to anybody who lives on such a street)

 

[Strat-tastic]

In a similar vein, the poor standard of road signs. Its a PITA following directions for Somename Road when you can't find this road because it isn't signed properly!

Or sign is absent.

Talking of which, road signs pointing to Somewhere Ville so you turn that way and next junction? Nothing! Talk about being left in the lurch.

100 lines!

 

[GusB]

Books with ridiculously small print should be banned and burnt.

Should've gone to Specsavers!

 

[Techniquest]

People who only eat mince pies at xmas.

I can eat them all year round, Waitrose usually sell them until about May.

I do eat them regularly when they're in the shops, I bought a packet from Asda on Sunday and it was strange but nice to have the first packet of the season

In a similar vein, the poor standard of road signs. Its a PITA following directions for Somename Road when you can't find this road because it isn't signed properly!

YES! This sort of thing drives me crazy regularly, today was one of those days where poor signage was driving me mad. I was trying to follow a National Cycle Network route (the answer to which one will be revealed soon in the trip report ) and I ended up going the wrong way due to poor signage. Not just once either, and it happens when trying to find street signs too. Especially annoying when one is new in an area!

 

[Ediswan]

Gino D'Acampo.

He always seems to pop up everywhere with his overinflated ego.

There was a report in the Metro a couple of years ago that he was whinging about a loss of privacy at home due to a footpath being publicised that ran past his residence.

It is not a public footpath, but it is the de facto pedestrian access to a GP surgey, with no good alternative. The path, and the users, were there long before he moved in. He also played the 'think of my children' card. Local reaction was not supportive. I have not been keeping up with the latest developments.

 

[43096]

In a similar vein, motorway gantry signs saying A21 closed after A236 junction - how do I know where the A236 is? Please say after Tunbridge Wells. (Other roads are available )

Worse still the signs saying "A43 closed at wherever", on a gantry after you've passed the A43 junction on the M40. Pointless information!