Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[xotGD]

Books which don't start at page number 1. Sometimes you are already into double figures by the first page.

Also books with excessively long chapters, resulting in a lack of suitable points to stop reading.

People who make their own special mark in library books so that they know that they have read the book before. It isn't your book - stop defacing it!

People who fill the book exchange at the station with a load of trashy rubbish that I don't want to read. I've left plenty but never been able to pick one up in return.

 

[py_megapixel]

I would ban newsagents and supermarkets from stocking none of Railway Magazine, Modern Railways, Today's Railways and Rail. I appreciate you might not have that many rail enthusiasts to justify multiple railway publications, but come on, at least stock one of them!

It's particularly infuriating when this state of affairs arises at an establishment located actually within a railway station.

 

[Mojo]

I’ve been on holiday the last week & stayed at or eaten at a few places where the sinks are so small, or the taps are set back so far from the edge of the basin, that you cannot help but constantly knock your hands against the inside of the sink. Doesn’t feel very hygienic.

On the same line, also hand dryers that are so feeble you might as well blow your hands dry yourself.

 

[Bald Rick]

And the bloke with the bell at Portsmouth

I’ve met him! When he came to our place once, the first time he rang the bell a bloke near me shouted - “BRING OUT YER DEAD!”

 

[py_megapixel]

On the same line, also hand dryers that are so feeble you might as well blow your hands dry yourself.

There are 3 designs in particular which pop up in various places under various different brands and are always as awful as you describe:

Pictures show 3 different designs of hand dryer, taken from the websites of - from left to right - Intelligent Hand Dryers, Electrical Direct and Vent-Axia.

The last one is particularly egregious as not only does it do nothing, it does nothing while deafening everyone in the vacinity!

 

[trainophile]

I’ve been on holiday the last week & stayed at or eaten at a few places where the sinks are so small, or the taps are set back so far from the edge of the basin, that you cannot help but constantly knock your hands against the inside of the sink. Doesn’t feel very hygienic.

On the same line, also hand dryers that are so feeble you might as well blow your hands dry yourself.

Tiny sinks are one of my pet annoyances in many B&Bs I've stayed in. I now always take a flannel as sometimes it's the only way I can "wash" my face. Cleaning teeth presents its own problems, sometimes the top of my head is against the tiles while my mouth is still not over the basin!

 

[Jimini]

I would ban newsagents and supermarkets from stocking none of Railway Magazine, Modern Railways, Today's Railways and Rail. I appreciate you might not have that many rail enthusiasts to justify multiple railway publications, but come on, at least stock one of them!

It's particularly infuriating when this state of affairs arises at an establishment located actually within a railway station.

Publishers have to pay (rather hefty) listing fees to get their publications into most retail groups. For small publishers such as the ones you cite, it simply isn’t cost effective for them to do so I’m afraid.

 

[75A]

Publishers have to pay (rather hefty) listing fees to get their publications into most retail groups. For small publishers such as the ones you cite, it simply isn’t cost effective for them to do so I’m afraid.

Equally infuriating is when you go into a shop like WH Smith to buy a magazine and you can't even get to the shelf because there's some cretin standing there reading a magazine with no intention of buying it, seems particularly to be Car & Railway tomes.

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 15 Aug 2021 ==

Just had that stupid LNER advert on television again, I live on the Leicestershire / Warwickshire border with my local station being Nuneaton, why advertise a train between Kings Cross / Leeds / Newcastle / Edinburgh to people on the WCML?

 

[Ianno87]

I would ban newsagents and supermarkets from stocking none of Railway Magazine, Modern Railways, Today's Railways and Rail. I appreciate you might not have that many rail enthusiasts to justify multiple railway publications, but come on, at least stock one of them!

It's particularly infuriating when this state of affairs arises at an establishment located actually within a railway station.

Should be MANDATORY at Railway stations.

Was disappointed not to pick up a pre-Interrail copy of RAIL from Smiths at Ebbsfleet in 2008, and still grates with me today!

 

[Jimini]

Should be MANDATORY at Railway stations.

Was disappointed not to pick up a pre-Interrail copy of RAIL from Smiths at Ebbsfleet in 2008, and still grates with me today!

WHSmith are one of the worst offenders when it comes to listing fees -- they're eye-watering! Small publishers stand no chance.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Wasps, specifically on buses. There are no greenfly or caterpillars here, your work is outside so leave me alone.

Pineapple on pizzas, anyone favouring this practice should be deported.

Complaining about pineapple on pizzas should be banned. It's hardly original, and depending on what it's combined with pineapple is a perfectly acceptable topping.

(Dons tin hat, ducks for cover!)

 

[Busaholic]

Complaining about pineapple on pizzas should be banned. It's hardly original, and depending on what it's combined with pineapple is a perfectly acceptable topping.

(Dons tin hat, ducks for cover!)

I always wondered who The Man from Del Monte was - it was you all along.

 

[Paul Jones 88]

Cancel culture, I'd cancel it.

 

[32475]

1- Misuse of apostrophes
2- Answering questions starting unnecessarily with the word ‘so’
3- Unnecessarily using the word ‘like’ in a sentence
4- The fad for blue hair dye which gives the appearance of having used toilet duck or similar
5- Bad tattoos which account for about 99% of them
6- Rudeness and impatience
7- Fly tippers
8- Talent shows
9- Piles of chocolate at petrol station counters
10- Fruit and veg from all corners of the world when we grow the same in the UK
11- The livery of the HST Staycation Express
12- Cold callers starting with the phrase ‘How are you today?’ - actually if you have the patience to make something up on this topic for several minutes they usually hang up!

 

[HST274]

Lists

 

[py_megapixel]

WHSmith are one of the worst offenders when it comes to listing fees -- they're eye-watering! Small publishers stand no chance.

OK. In which case I shall also ban prohibitively expensive listing fees.

 

[westv]

People saying "reach out" when they mean "contact".

 

[61653 HTAFC]

I always wondered who The Man from Del Monte was - it was you all along.

"Yes"

 

[island]

Just had that stupid LNER advert on television again, I live on the Leicestershire / Warwickshire border with my local station being Nuneaton, why advertise a train between Kings Cross / Leeds / Newcastle / Edinburgh to people on the WCML?

If it was on national television, I doubt it knows where you live.

 

[bspahh]

If it was on national television, I doubt it knows where you live.

A broadcaster on a terrestrial TV station knows which transmitter you are using.

 

[birchesgreen]

People who say they want to "touch base" with me.

Sorry i barely know ye, at least wait until i'm drunk.

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Lists

Lists that aren't punctuated; as commas, colons, semi-colons and full stops can all sometimes be used.

 

[Bald Rick]

People saying "reach out" when they mean "contact".

 

[75A]

If it was on national television, I doubt it knows where you live.

Virgin

 

[ABB125]

People saying "reach out" when they mean "contact".

That one really annoys me. Grrrrrr....

It's a bit like supermarkets etc using "colleagues" instead of "staff" (I think this has already been mentioned). Eg: if you can't find what you're looking for, please ask a colleague.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

That one really annoys me. Grrrrrr....

It's a bit like supermarkets etc using "colleagues" instead of "staff" (I think this has already been mentioned). Eg: if you can't find what you're looking for, please ask a colleague.

At a supermarket I worked at, there was one customer (a very plummy-voiced old lady) who insisted on addressing all "colleagues" as "staff".... as in, "excuse me, stahff" and "Thank-you, stahff". Now THAT was a bit jarring!

 

[Ianno87]

Fancy Dress parties for anybody over the age of 20.

(And University ones to only be granted via special permit)

 

[Cowley]

Fancy Dress parties for anybody over the age of 20.

(And University ones to only be granted via special permit)

Oh yes absolutely. Our friends have one every year for their birthdays. It puts me off wanting to go!

 

[Westcountryman]

That one really annoys me. Grrrrrr....

It's a bit like supermarkets etc using "colleagues" instead of "staff" (I think this has already been mentioned). Eg: if you can't find what you're looking for, please ask a colleague.

But a colleague is someone you work with. As a customer the colleagues you have are the people you work with, not the supermarket staff.

 

[Busaholic]

Oh yes absolutely. Our friends have one every year for their birthdays. It puts me off wanting to go!

I always go as Worzel Gummidge, whether it's a fancy dress party or not.