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Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

Cowley

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I'm watching the Watford-Villa game on Match of the Day, if I was sat anywhere near that bloke with the drum........................................

Oh god. The England band! I couldn’t even tell you what I’d do with that trumpet given half a chance… To me it’s the soundtrack to failure over the last couple of decades. Can’t stand it.
 
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61653 HTAFC

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Oh god. The England band! I couldn’t even tell you what I’d do with that trumpet given half a chance… To me it’s the soundtrack to failure over the last couple of decades. Can’t stand it.
Solitary brass or percussion imstruments should be barred from all sports stadia- you're only allowed in if you've got a full orchestra.

Also, teams that resort to time-wasting and gamesmanship when already 4-1 up. And seeing as I'm already aiming at football hipsters, Fulham FC from 1998 onwards.

"Ooh, look, we've got a neutral zone!"

F&** off!
 

Busaholic

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Baristas sprinkling low quality 'chocolate' powder on my cappuccino without being asked to

Worse, baristas sprinkling low quality 'chocolate' powder on my cappuccino when I have specifically asked them not to

Even worse, baristas who get into a strop if I ask for another cappuccino to be made should I request it (which I generally don't, being the sole of reasonableness.) :)
 

Jimini

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Solitary brass or percussion imstruments should be barred from all sports stadia- you're only allowed in if you've got a full orchestra.

Also, teams that resort to time-wasting and gamesmanship when already 4-1 up. And seeing as I'm already aiming at football hipsters, Fulham FC from 1998 onwards.

"Ooh, look, we've got a neutral zone!"

F&** off!

…and there was me going to play nice and not mention today’s game, chap ;)

(I’ve been going home and away since 1984 by the way.)
 

birchesgreen

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Family members thinking you can fix their IT issues just because you work in IT

No uncle, i am a Mac owner, i have little knowledge or interest in how to fix Windows 10 print issues...
 

Strat-tastic

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Programmes which say, 'Welcome back," after the ads. No; I've been here all along; it's you who's been away.

Then at the end it's see you next week. No you won't; I'll see you should I choose to watch again.

:rolleyes: :E
 

duncanp

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Family members thinking you can fix their IT issues just because you work in IT

No uncle, i am a Mac owner, i have little knowledge or interest in how to fix Windows 10 print issues...

Not just family members.

If you admit that you work in IT, anyone you know treats you as a support desk.

Rather like if you are a plumber, electrician, doctor or dentist.
 

Ianno87

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Railway employee...

I had just the 4 messages from friends yesterday asking if the trains into London were ok. To be fair only one of them specifically asked for train times.

Typical text from my mother in law: "Are trains to King's Cross running tomorrow?"
 

py_megapixel

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The use of the word "Oops" or the phrase "Something went wrong" in error messages. Yes, I know something went wrong; why don't you tell me what it is.
 

Gloster

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Many years ago it was quite normal to tackle off-duty railwaymen to complain about a train being delayed, to tell them how BR should stop wasting money, suggest that railways should be tarmacked over, accuse staff of sponging off the taxpayer, etc. On one occasion a fellow signalman was having a drink with his fiancée when someone butted in to complain about a delayed train. My friend gave him the brush off (he was off duty and not in uniform), so the chap wrote a letter of complaint to the local AMO about my friend’s ‘unhelpful’ attitude. I am glad to say that the AMO politely gave him the brush off, although he apparently tried to take the matter up with the local press. This failed, although whether even they wouldn’t touch it or whether they had got wind of his reputation: shortly after he found himself in court over a slightly unsavoury matter.
 

Darandio

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Wasps, specifically on buses. There are no greenfly or caterpillars here, your work is outside so leave me alone.

Pineapple on pizzas, anyone favouring this practice should be deported.
 

Gloster

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People, particularly the retired, who think that the middle of Sunday afternoon is a good time to get the strimmer out.
 

Techniquest

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I once tried pineapple on pizza, thanks to a Pizza Hut buffet. It was a few years back now, so I'm curious as to what it would be like. My tastes have changed after all!

It's still a strange idea, granted. However, I'd like to suggest pizza with mushrooms as worthy of being banned. Mushrooms in general can Foxtrot Oscar!
 

SuspectUsual

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I'm watching the Watford-Villa game on Match of the Day, if I was sat anywhere near that bloke with the drum........................................

Oh god. The England band! I couldn’t even tell you what I’d do with that trumpet given half a chance… To me it’s the soundtrack to failure over the last couple of decades. Can’t stand it.

And the bloke with the bell at Portsmouth. And, more generally, music after the home team scores a goal

And two other things:

1 - people who pitch up at the station at about 8am asking the one ticket office member of staff for advice about a journey they’ll be undertaking next month

2 - BBC radio 4 having “a reminder of the main news so far” halfway through a 28 minute broadcast.
 
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trainophile

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People on trains who put their numerous items of luggage not only above their own seat but also above the two rows in front of them, or even across the aisle, thus preventing the occupants of those seats stowing their own bags.
 

Mcr Warrior

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People on trains who put their numerous items of luggage not only above their own seat but also above the two rows in front of them, or even across the aisle, thus preventing the occupants of those seats stowing their own bags.
Similarly on airline flights, which invariably makes you wonder just how many items of (often over-sized) hand luggage some folk have managed to bring on board.
 

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