Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[MattA7]

To be honest I quite liked the sodium vapor lamps I don’t know if it was because of nostalgic memories of walking home on dark winter evenings back in the days when life was a lot more simple.

 

[XAM2175]

LPS (SOX) were a horrible colour (orange), but far more efficient and long lamp life than anything else available at the time. So HPS (SON) was invented. Much closer to white, good lamp life, and still reasonably efficient. This pleased most people except astronomers.

I'm not sure about these parts but there was a period in Australia where mercury-vapour lamps become popular for both internal and external lighting. Hateful bloody things, they were.

back in the days when life was a lot more simple

For you, maybe

 

[yorksrob]

Yes, yellow sodium lamps used to be all over the place, but I can't say I've noticed any for ages now.

 

[duncanp]

Can we ban those funny shaped tins of corned beef with the silly little key on the metal strip at the bottom that never works as it is supposed to.

Why on earth is corned beef in those funny shaped tins anyway?

 

[island]

Why on earth is corned beef in those funny shaped tins anyway?

The square shaped tins are the optimal size for carrying the maximum possible number in the smallest possible space, thereby minimizing delivery costs. The edges are rounded so as to use a continuous piece of metal and not risk them bursting.

 

[Cowley]

The square shaped tins are the optimal size for carrying the maximum possible number in the smallest possible space, thereby minimizing delivery costs. The edges are rounded so as to use a continuous piece of metal and not risk them bursting.

That’s a good answer, but then why are most other tinned goods not the same shape?
Genuine question, I’ve just never really thought about it before.

 

[island]

That’s a good answer, but then why are most other tinned goods not the same shape?
Genuine question, I’ve just never really thought about it before.

Could be that most other stuff is liquid and it’s easier to fill? I remember seeing it come up on one of those space filler TV documentaries but I forget most of it

 

[Ediswan]

Can we ban those funny shaped tins of corned beef with the silly little key on the metal strip at the bottom that never works as it is supposed to.

Why on earth is corned beef in those funny shaped tins anyway?

The tapered tins are to make it easier to get the contents out in one piece. Open the big end, preferably make a hole in the small end with an ordinary tin opener, shake.

 

[nlogax]

That’s a good answer, but then why are most other tinned goods not the same shape?
Genuine question, I’ve just never really thought about it before.

It's one answer. Another is that the shape makes it easier for the contents to be removed in one piece so they can be cut into slices as required.

Corned beef is lovely stuff, especially in a hash. Not at all banworthy imo.

 

[duncanp]

It's one answer. Another is that the shape makes it easier for the contents to be removed in one piece so they can be cut into slices as required.

Corned beef is lovely stuff, especially in a hash. Not at all banworthy imo.

I didn't want to ban corned beef entirely. (In fact I had corned beef hash for breakfast this morning.)

Just those square shaped tins.

Or at least have an easier way of opening them, because that flimsy bit of metal with the key round it never seems to work as it is supposed to.

 

[Calthrop]

I didn't want to ban corned beef entirely. (In fact I had corned beef hash for breakfast this morning.)

Just those square shaped tins.

Or at least have an easier way of opening them, because that flimsy bit of metal with the key round it never seems to work as it is supposed to.

That device on corned-beef tins works fine for me; what I would ban, are the white plastic contraptions, with supposedly a simple mechanism, on top of certain cartons of various kinds of juice -- the idea is, you're supposed to "jigger" with the thing so that it becomes an opening-and-closing-at-will, way into the carton. I can never figure out how that is meant to work: always have to smash the blasted thing to get at the carton's contents, and then be lumbered with it in its smashed state, until all contents consumed.

 

[GusB]

Perhaps this isn't so comedic, but I'd like to ban solicitors. That is all.

 

[Busaholic]

I had a recorded phone message AND a paper letter in the post asking me for a reading for my British Gas electricity meter. I duly submitted the reading online and received the usual emailed "thank you, we will update your account". A few days later in the post comes another letter, saying thank you for your meter reading, however your account is not due for a while so we may request another reading in the meantime. Unbelievable. Well believable actually, this being British Gas.

That device on corned-beef tins works fine for me; what I would ban, are the white plastic contraptions, with supposedly a simple mechanism, on top of certain cartons of various kinds of juice -- the idea is, you're supposed to "jigger" with the thing so that it becomes an opening-and-closing-at-will, way into the carton. I can never figure out how that is meant to work: always have to smash the blasted thing to get at the carton's contents, and then be lumbered with it in its smashed state, until all contents consumed.

Absolutely agree with both, particularly the latter.

 

[joncombe]

Cash machines that present two options for cash withdrawal.

1. Balance enquiry and cash withdrawal.
2. Cash withdrawal.

I select option 2. Then it comes up "Would you like to check your balance first?".

 

[Spamcan81]

Event commentators. Generally too fond of the sound of their own voice so never know when to shut up.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Perhaps this isn't so comedic, but I'd like to ban solicitors. That is all.

Obligatory Simpsons link.

 

[yorksrob]

Cash machines that present two options for cash withdrawal.

1. Balance enquiry and cash withdrawal.
2. Cash withdrawal.

I select option 2. Then it comes up "Would you like to check your balance first?".

I developed a deep disinclination towards checking my balance when withdrawing cash, while at university. It has stayed with me ever since.

 

[Ianno87]

I developed a deep disinclination towards checking my balance when withdrawing cash, while at university. It has stayed with me ever since.

Ignorance is bliss, as they say

 

[yorksrob]

Ignorance is bliss, as they say

Quite ! (For a while, anyway )

 

[py_megapixel]

Event commentators. Generally too fond of the sound of their own voice so never know when to shut up.

I was on the beach the other day and there was some local competition going on next to me. The commentator actually said - these were his actual words - "I'll carry on talking, just because I can"

And he did. I really don't understand why.

 

[43172]

Ban people putting cream first on scones.
Railway wise (and planning ahead for the future) ban any attempt to preserve a Class 153, with a demand that all are sent to Newport for scrapping

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Ban people putting cream first on scones.
Railway wise (and planning ahead for the future) ban any attempt to preserve a Class 153, with a demand that all are sent to Newport for scrapping

I vote we keep one, as a warning from history!


(A scone with cream first, that is )

 

[Ianno87]

Event commentators. Generally too fond of the sound of their own voice so never know when to shut up.

Specifically David Dimbleby.

Watching London Remembrance Parade back in November, and him narrating the social distancing measures.... Zzzzzzz

 

[43096]

I didn't want to ban corned beef entirely. (In fact I had corned beef hash for breakfast this morning.)

I'll say it then: can we ban corned beef.

And whilst I'm at it, gherkins are the work of the devil and have a special place in hell reserved for them.

 

[43096]

I was on the beach the other day and there was some local competition going on next to me. The commentator actually said - these were his actual words - "I'll carry on talking, just because I can"

And he did. I really don't understand why.

All commentators should note the late, great, Richie Benaud's mantra "Put your brain into gear and if you can add to what’s on the screen then do it, otherwise shut up."

 

[yorksrob]

Social distancing measures on "Come Dine With Me".

Time to get back to normal.

 

[SuspectUsual]

Jamie Carragher

 

[nlogax]

Come Dine With Me.

It's terrible.

 

[xotGD]

I didn't want to ban corned beef entirely. (In fact I had corned beef hash for breakfast this morning.)

I would ban people who eat their dinner at breakfast time!

 

[ABB125]

I would ban people who eat their dinner at breakfast time!

Or should that be lunch?

(See separate thread on lunch vs dinner)