Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[75A]

Gay News was first published in 1972. I remember attending what was described as a 'gay wedding' in Amsterdam in 1969, although I'm sure it wasn't legally recognised. I've had many gay and lesbian friends over the years without having a single personal inclination to join them in that way. I've never understood antipathy towards gay people, and think Peter Tatchell is an admirable person on the whole.

I'm with you, surely your friends and family's sexuality shouldn't affect your relationship with them?

 

[Busaholic]

I'm with you, surely your friends and family's sexualality shouldn't affect your relationship with them?

Regrettably, heterophobia exists as well as homophobia, so some gay friends of my gay friends would never accept me, as they were suspicious of me, or my motives, I guess. I never allowed it to bother me, and I deliberately avoided 'gay' events like Pride marches for that reason.

 

[trainophile]

Another thing I would like to ban would be those companies that ask you to fill out a satisfaction survey or write a review every time you buy something or interact with them.

I travelled from London to Birmingham on Saturday, and now Avanti want me to fill out a survey telling them whether I enjoyed the journey.

Amazon are the same.

I recently had to make a complaint to my energy supplier. (about using estimated readings when I gave them an accurate reading ) They fixed the problem, but now want me to fill in a survey about whether I was happy with the service I received.

If you used the correct reading in the first place, then I wouldn't need to fill in a survey about whether I was happy with the way you dealt with my complaint.

I am in grumpy old *** mode this morning.

I had a recorded phone message AND a paper letter in the post asking me for a reading for my British Gas electricity meter. I duly submitted the reading online and received the usual emailed "thank you, we will update your account". A few days later in the post comes another letter, saying thank you for your meter reading, however your account is not due for a while so we may request another reading in the meantime. Unbelievable. Well believable actually, this being British Gas.

 

[Paul Jones 88]

The Guardian

 

[trainophile]

The Guardian

Any paper that promotes articles on Twitter then expects you to pay to actually read them.

 

[Cowley]

Just a thought, and not wishing to backseat moderate... as much as some of the terms used for non-heterosexual people in the past are almost charming in their stupidity ("uphill gardener" I admit is pretty funny simply because it is so daft and surreal), not everyone will necessarily appreciate these terms being listed. This thread has been great fun and I don't want to see it locked by the mods.

Yes I think you’re right. We’ve probably dwelt a little too long on this anyway now and it’s better to keep a thread like this moving along really.

Waking up an hour before you need to get up and knowing that you’re not going to get back to sleep even though you’re still really tired.
It was the dog making weird slurping noises this morning…

 

[Paul Jones 88]

Boy Racer type vehicles.

 

[johnnychips]

Bubble gum. When I was at school, everybody used to do it - remember Bazooka Joe? No kids seem to do it now, and I think this is a Good Thing.

 

[xotGD]

Non-biodegradable helium filled balloons.

Numpties think they are being clever by having a balloon release (or kids just let go of them), and they just end up littering the countryside and getting stuck in trees.

 

[duncanp]

Supermarket self service tills that keep on nagging you to hurry up. (I'm looking at you ALDI)

• If you don't place the item you have just scanned in the bagging area within half a second, it says "Please place the item in the bagging area"
• If you don't scan the next item within half a second, it says "Please scan the next item, or press button to pay"
• Then when you have paid, it keeps on saying "Please take your items", whilst you are packing them away. This one reminds me of the scene from Fawlty Towers where Basil is trying to put the moose's head up, and Sybil phones him up to remind him to do what he is already doing.

Or perhaps we should just ban supermarket self service tills, as they are just a pain in the backside.

 

[Gloster]

Supermarket self service tills that keep on nagging you to hurry up. (I'm looking at you ALDI)

• If you don't place the item you have just scanned in the bagging area within half a second, it says "Please place the item in the bagging area"
• If you don't scan the next item within half a second, it says "Please scan the next item, or press button to pay"
• Then when you have paid, it keeps on saying "Please take your items", whilst you are packing them away. This one reminds me of the scene from Fawlty Towers where Basil is trying to put the moose's head up, and Sybil phones him up to remind him to do what he is already doing.

Or perhaps we should just ban supermarket self service tills, as they are just a pain in the backside.

And their habit of instructing you to put more cash in the slot when you have already inserted the full payment.

 

[Paul Jones 88]

Key worker liveries on trains.

 

[duncanp]

Key worker liveries on trains.

And all those signs with a rainbow logo saying "Thank you NHS and key workers"

These are well past their sell by date now.

 

[Ianno87]

Parking Eye (and various other less-than-friendly companies employed to monitor private car parks)

 

[Techniquest]

And all those signs with a rainbow logo saying "Thank you NHS and key workers"

These are well past their sell by date now.

Agreed. It could be argued that they passed their sell-by date before they were applied, but that's just my view on how necessary they were. Entirely different topic, and I'm not going to expand further on that!

However, yes it just looks silly now. I noticed it on 170270 yesterday, just looks a bit, well, odd now. A bit like leaving Christmas decorations up way too long...

Talking of, let's make sure that is definitely on the list of things to ban. I think it's getting to be a long list now

 

[Bald Rick]

Parking Eye (and various other less-than-friendly companies employed to monitor private car parks)

Current Score: Parking Eye 0, Bald Rick 2.

 

[A Challenge]

However, yes it just looks silly now. I noticed it on 170270 yesterday, just looks a bit, well, odd now. A bit like leaving Christmas decorations up way too long...

Talking of, let's make sure that is definitely on the list of things to ban. I think it's getting to be a long list now

SWR have only just revealed theirs today, as well - and I don't really like it either

https://twitter.com/sw_help/status/1425750152724107264?s=21

(link shows picture of the new train in a tweet from @SW_Help this morning)

 

[MattA7]

LED street lights there is growing evidence that they are harmful to human health and killing nocturnal wildlife. The ones in my area are grossly ineffective anyway only given visibility directly under the lamp like spotlights. At least the older HPS/LPS lights spread the light out better and didn’t pose a threat to health and the environment.

 

[ABB125]

LED street lights there is growing evidence that they are harmful to human health and killing nocturnal wildlife. The ones in my area are grossly ineffective anyway only given visibility directly under the lamp like spotlights. At least the older HPS/LPS lights spread the light out better and didn’t pose a threat to health and the environment.

It's perfectly possible to have LED streetlights which both spread the light and have minimal effect on human/animal life. However, such fittings are no doubt more expensive.

 

[Strat-tastic]

Supermarket self service tills that keep on nagging you to hurry up. (I'm looking at you ALDI)

• If you don't place the item you have just scanned in the bagging area within half a second, it says "Please place the item in the bagging area"
• If you don't scan the next item within half a second, it says "Please scan the next item, or press button to pay"
• Then when you have paid, it keeps on saying "Please take your items", whilst you are packing them away. This one reminds me of the scene from Fawlty Towers where Basil is trying to put the moose's head up, and Sybil phones him up to remind him to do what he is already doing.

Or perhaps we should just ban supermarket self service tills, as they are just a pain in the backside.

Yes! I've long since stopped shouting at er.... using these atrocities.

'Please take your items from bagging area.'

No, I've bought all this with the sole intention of leaving it behind

 

[Techniquest]

SWR have only just revealed theirs today, as well - and I don't really like it either

https://twitter.com/sw_help/status/1425750152724107264?s=21

(link shows picture of the new train in a tweet from @SW_Help this morning)

At least it doesn't seem as nursery-school-goer-like as that thing TfW use! The SWR livery one does look a fair bit more grown-up, although I still don't see the need for it. The way my squad and I look at it, we're not heroes, all we did was go to work like we would have done anyway!

 

[gg1]

LED street lights there is growing evidence that they are harmful to human health and killing nocturnal wildlife. The ones in my area are grossly ineffective anyway only given visibility directly under the lamp like spotlights. At least the older HPS/LPS lights spread the light out better and didn’t pose a threat to health and the environment.

Always thought it odd that LED streetlamps are never fitted with diffusers to both spread the light further and soften the glare directly below them, the additional cost would be minimal.

 

[py_megapixel]

At least the older HPS/LPS lights spread the light out better and didn’t pose a threat to health and the environment.

And were also a horrible colour making the streets feel absolutely grim at night.

Regarding wildlife, I imagine most of the damage comes from leakage into the surrounding environment caused by poorly designed fixtures. These were likely supplied to the cheapest possible spec - hence the fact that they have no lens to diffuse and direct the light appropriately.

How are they "a threat to health"?

 

[ABB125]

How are they "a threat to health"?

I believe it's similar to blue light being emitted from phone screens - it disrupts sleep. This can be mitigated by choosing a warmer colour temperature, but this then causes issues as the light output reduces as colour temperature warms. A compromise at around 4000K ("cool white") is generally considered optimal, with a decent light output, but less blue light compared with the brighter, cooler temperatures (eg: 6500K, "daylight")

 

[Ediswan]

And were also a horrible colour making the streets feel absolutely grim at night.

LPS (SOX) were a horrible colour (orange), but far more efficient and long lamp life than anything else available at the time. So HPS (SON) was invented. Much closer to white, good lamp life, and still reasonably efficient. This pleased most people except astronomers.

LED street lights with a pleasant colour temperature and beam pattern are definitely available. As they are multiple point sources, with clever geometry and reflectors, no lens/diffuser is needed. As ever, cheaper poorer quality options are availble. A common error seems to be specifying far too high a colour temperature. Astronomers are now very unhappy..

 

[HST274]

Any paper that promotes articles on Twitter then expects you to pay to actually read them.

Cough* Telegraph *Cough

 

[Ianno87]

Any paper that promotes articles on Twitter then expects you to pay to actually read them.

And the governments that make major announcements via them...

 

[HST274]

Man City. I would also say liverpool but they aren't quite as minor

 

[py_megapixel]

LPS (SOX) were a horrible colour (orange), but far more efficient and long lamp life than anything else available at the time. So HPS (SON) was invented. Much closer to white, good lamp life, and still reasonably efficient. This pleased most people except astronomers.

I don't disagree. But compared to well-specified LEDs, HPS is horrible. Warm white would be the best choice.

LED street lights with a pleasant colour temperature and beam pattern are definitely available. As they are multiple point sources, with clever geometry and reflectors, no lens/diffuser is needed. As ever, cheaper poorer quality options are availble. A common error seems to be specifying far too high a colour temperature. Astronomers are now very unhappy..

I would agree with that sentiment.

 

[Ediswan]

I don't disagree. But compared to well-specified LEDs, HPS is horrible. Warm white would be the best choice.

Perhaps we should have a "When the new and improved thing really is (or can be) better" thread.