Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[61653 HTAFC]

It's the 'Académie Française', I believe.

Thanks, or should I say merci?

Given the number of posts on this thread decrying certain neologisms, perhaps the UK could establish such a body? Perhaps the Welsh need one too, given the propensity of the "popty-ping" myth!

 

[Busaholic]

Eateries with tables that are too small to properly accommodate two plates of food, two drinks, condiments, etc.

Also eateries that have menus tucked into a holder in the middle of the table that are so huge that you can't see the person sat opposite.

Also staff in such places who say "perfect" when you tell them what you would like to eat and drink.

Even worse, hotel receptionists who say "perfect" when you tell them your name.

My pet hate is the expression 'no problem.' 'I'd like a small cappuccino please'; 'no problem!' Well, I should think not. I've come to Costa Coffee and queued for ten minutes, whereas in most other countries I could find a table and sit down waiting to be served. Oh, then there's 'do you want chocolate sprinkles on that?': 'no thanks' :'no problem'. Grrrr

 

[gg1]

The phrase "I'm a vegetarian but I eat fish", which is much like saying "I'm teetotal but I drink vodka".

 

[Gloster]

The phrase "I'm a vegetarian but I eat fish", which is much like saying "I'm teetotal but I drink vodka".

I am in the process of becoming a vegetarian who eats fish: the correct name is pescatarian, although when I was younger they were called demi-veg. Nowadays there seems to be a different name for each very slight variation. Once my cooking arrangements are sorted out by a house move, I will be a proper pescatarian and even consider vegetarianism. I think veganism is a bit too far for me: I love cheese.

I did once know someone who was ‘dieting at meals’. This had some logic to it as his wife was on a special and very restrictive diet and he ate the same very light meals as her. Out of her sight, although she was fully aware of and quite happy with it, he would eat hearty snacks.

 

[43096]

I am in the process of becoming a vegetarian who eats fish: the correct name is pescatarian, although when I was younger they were called demi-veg. Nowadays there seems to be a different name for each very slight variation. Once my cooking arrangements are sorted out by a house move, I will be a proper pescatarian and even consider vegetarianism. I think veganism is a bit too far for me: I love cheese.

I did once know someone who was ‘dieting at meals’. This had some logic to it as his wife was on a special and very restrictive diet and he ate the same very light meals as her. Out of her sight, although she was fully aware of and quite happy with it, he would eat hearty snacks.

My Mum’s aunt was vegetarian a lot of the time, but strangely liked turkey and all the trimmings when she visited every bloody Christmas.

She was referred to as a “part-time vegetarian” for obvious reasons!

 

[py_megapixel]

The phrase "I'm a vegetarian but I eat fish", which is much like saying "I'm teetotal but I drink vodka".

What makes it even worse is that there is a term for that diet: pescetarian! So why do people appropriate another one and use it inaccurately?

When I was at school I remember one of the staff responsible for serving the school meals offer someone a fishcake when they asked for the vegetarian option. Upon being told, quite correctly, that fishcakes were not vegetarian, the response from the person in question was "But my cousin is vegetarian and he eats fishcakes!".

No, f*** what your cousin eats - you are literally being paid to serve food, you should know what dietary requirements mean! This story was quite a few years ago now so I have no idea why it is still ingrained in my memory as it's relatively trivial, but there you go.

 

[tbtc]

• People who use "random" as a descriptor for objects or events which are just unusual or unexpected

Oh, yes, now you've reminded me of this... it's really annoying - from the kind of people who have pretty dull lives but like to feel individual/ wacky/ spontaneous...

The misuse of ‘decimated’
The growing use of ‘across’, as in ‘we will be across all the sports across the BBC’

Agreed - particularly decimated, which people use to mean pretty much the opposite of what it does mean, which causes great confusion!

The phrase "I'm a vegetarian but I eat fish", which is much like saying "I'm teetotal but I drink vodka".

YES!

A bit like "flexitarian" (which seems to mean "sometimes I eat meat and sometimes I don't", but surely that's true of pretty much anyone who eats meat - e.g. I'm a meat eater but I can manage to eat a bowl of cornflakes without adding chunks of animal to it)

I think it's like the way that nobody is "just" bisexual these days, people are "demisexual" or "pansexual" or some other fascinatingly unique way of saying "sometimes I'm attracted to some people but I'm not always attracted to just anyone" (just like pretty much everyone else then!)

 

[Busaholic]

YES!

A bit like "flexitarian" (which seems to mean "sometimes I eat meat and sometimes I don't", but surely that's true of pretty much anyone who eats meat - e.g. I'm a meat eater but I can manage to eat a bowl of cornflakes without adding chunks of animal to it)

I think it's like the way that nobody is "just" bisexual these days, people are "demisexual" or "pansexual" or some other fascinatingly unique way of saying "sometimes I'm attracted to some people but I'm not always attracted to just anyone" (just like pretty much everyone else then!)

I knew a 'vegetarian' in the 70s who would serve you some ghastly gloop in the name of the cause if you went to a meal at hers. but would demand roast lamb or somesuch if she came to ours! Since then, she has deserted vegetarianism to occasionally offer lamb to her partner's family when they visit, but on every single occasion she has to ring my wife and be taken through the process on each occasion, arguing volubly at every stage. Mind you, she was so unworldly that she thought Peter Wyngarde was the sort of man she should be looking for as a partner in life!

 

[xotGD]

People who do not adhere to the pre-1974 counties when describing which county a given town is in.

 

[Busaholic]

People who do not adhere to the pre-1974 counties when describing which county a given town is in.

I live in Cornovia: hope that's pre-1974 enough!

 

[adrock1976]

SNIP

I think it's like the way that nobody is "just" bisexual these days, people are "demisexual" or "pansexual" or some other fascinatingly unique way of saying "sometimes I'm attracted to some people but I'm not always attracted to just anyone" (just like pretty much everyone else then!)

I can remember during my schooldays years ago that it was far more straightforward (no pun intended) in regards to describing a person's sexuality. There were:

Gay
Lesbian
Transsexual
Heterosexual
Bisexual

Regarding bisexual, me and my classmates had interpreted that as either having the best of both, or alternatively, double the chances of cheating when in a relationship.

I agree that it all seems to be a muddle nowadays as it seems that almost all of the twenty-six letters of the Latin alphabet have been used for describing sexuality, and therefore go back to something that is easier for the general layperson to understand.

Nota bene: It is not my intention to cause any upset to anybody who identifies with the LGBT community - I am merely explaining what the various descriptions/labels of sexuality were during my secondary school days between 1989-93.

 

[Westcountryman]

Season instead of series, show instead of programme.

 

[adrock1976]

Season instead of series, show instead of programme.

On the subject of season/series, reinstated programmes should have the series number following on from the previous series number.

An example of what I am explaining here is Doctor Who. Although it first broadcast in 1963, there was a gap from 1989 to 2005. It is only the 2005 onwards series that have been numbered from 1 onwards.

 

[Gloster]

I can remember during my schooldays years ago that it was far more straightforward (no pun intended) in regards to describing a person's sexuality. There were:

Gay
Lesbian
Transsexual
Heterosexual
Bisexual

Regarding bisexual, me and my classmates had interpreted that as either having the best of both, or alternatively, double the chances of cheating when in a relationship.

I agree that it all seems to be a muddle nowadays as it seems that almost all of the twenty-six letters of the Latin alphabet have been used for describing sexuality, and therefore go back to something that is easier for the general layperson to understand.

Nota bene: It is not my intention to cause any upset to anybody who identifies with the LGBT community - I am merely explaining what the various descriptions/labels of sexuality were during my secondary school days between 1989-93.

Go back to the 1970s and you only really only had one or the other, with the other generally being known by one of a number of slightly negative epithets. The possibility of a third option was sort of known about but considered so rare that most didn’t think about it. Although there were some very nasty corners and episodes, most who were not normal (as it was then considered) were treated with no more than a touch of mild distaste and not always that. The commuter village I lived in had two very obviously gay gentlemen, one flamboyant and the other introverted, who most people treated the same way as anyone else. Note: this is my opinion and others may have seen other reactions.

 

[birchesgreen]

People who can't accept that languages are dynamic things and the meanings of words can and do change over time

 

[Bevan Price]

Go back to the 1970s and you only really only had one or the other, with the other generally being known by one of a number of slightly negative epithets. The possibility of a third option was sort of known about but considered so rare that most didn’t think about it. Although there were some very nasty corners and episodes, most who were not normal (as it was then considered) were treated with no more than a touch of mild distaste and not always that. The commuter village I lived in had two very obviously gay gentlemen, one flamboyant and the other introverted, who most people treated the same way as anyone else. Note: this is my opinion and others may have seen other reactions.

Language changes over the years, and again, no insults intended, but when I was young, such things were rarely discussed. However, men who behaved effeminatively were sometimes described as "pansies", or, later, as "queers". However, I don't remember them being regarded as targets for attack, they were just a "bit different."

 

[johnnychips]

This is OT, but I am interested. Maybe someone should create another general thread. I just wondered when ’gay’ became an accepted rather than a derogatory term? I must say I had never heard the term when I was in secondary school in the 70s. Any male homosexual was called a ‘puff’ (this was in Stockport, no idea if it was regional) or ‘pouffe’ not necessarily in a bad way, and female homosexuals were called ‘lesbians’. I think the idea of bisexual was too far for 15 year-old boys in an all-male school to understand. I do hope I am not upsetting anyone, but I am intrigued by how language develops and what certain words imply as they evolve.

 

[Gloster]

I would certainly agree that gay was not in common use in the mid-1970s and that poof or poofta (as I would have spelled them) were the usual words. (Male deoderant, such as Brut, was known as ‘poof juice’.) I don’t think they were, among the majority of people, even those lumps of over-active testosterone called teenager boarding schoolboys, felt to have more than a slight negative connotations. I wonder if gay is an import from the US.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

All getting a bit too philosophical in here...

One thing that irritates me in a superficial way is on this site, people who quote a post but write their response above the quote box. It's just confusing!

 

[75A]

This is OT, but I am interested. Maybe someone should create another general thread. I just wondered when ’gay’ became an accepted rather than a derogatory term? I must say I had never heard the term when I was in secondary school in the 70s. Any male homosexual was called a ‘puff’ (this was in Stockport, no idea if it was regional) or ‘pouffe’ not necessarily in a bad way, and female homosexuals were called ‘lesbians’. I think the idea of bisexual was too far for 15 year-old boys in an all-male school to understand. I do hope I am not upsetting anyone, but I am intrigued by how language develops and what certain words imply as they evolve.

Always known as shirtlifters where I come from.

 

[Grumpus63]

I would ban from forums and sack from any publication those people who refer to a flash of electrical discharge as "lightening" instead of "lightning". I believe in the moderate approach .

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Just a thought, and not wishing to backseat moderate... as much as some of the terms used for non-heterosexual people in the past are almost charming in their stupidity ("uphill gardener" I admit is pretty funny simply because it is so daft and surreal), not everyone will necessarily appreciate these terms being listed. This thread has been great fun and I don't want to see it locked by the mods.

 

[75A]

Just a thought, and not wishing to backseat moderate... as much as some of the terms used for non-heterosexual people in the past are almost charming in their stupidity ("uphill gardener" I admit is pretty funny simply because it is so daft and surreal), not everyone will necessarily appreciate these terms being listed. This thread had been great fun and I don't want to see it locked by the mods.

I agree, my ignorance was because back home that's what people said & as a child your believe them, it's only once 'grown up' that you think 'hang on that's not right'.
Fortunately these days things like this are beginning to get sorted out, not before time in my opinion. Why should someones sexuality, colour, religion etc have any bearing on how society treats them?

 

[Grumpus63]

This is OT, but I am interested. Maybe someone should create another general thread. I just wondered when ’gay’ became an accepted rather than a derogatory term? I must say I had never heard the term when I was in secondary school in the 70s. Any male homosexual was called a ‘puff’ (this was in Stockport, no idea if it was regional) or ‘pouffe’ not necessarily in a bad way, and female homosexuals were called ‘lesbians’. I think the idea of bisexual was too far for 15 year-old boys in an all-male school to understand. I do hope I am not upsetting anyone, but I am intrigued by how language develops and what certain words imply as they evolve.

Oh in the early seventies at a school on a council estate in south London I was referred to as "poof" (primarily), followed by "bender" and I can recall being surrounded in a science class by the arch yob (and his followers-on) who had been expelled from Walington Grammar School for hitting a teacher over the head with a chair. He started stroking my leg (in hostile fashion) and they all started singing "I love you love me love" which was a pop song at that time by of all people, Gary Glitter. I found the whole high school experience something of an ordeal for these reasons but Red Bus Rovers at weekends and good stable home life helped.

Much later in life social media opened up contact with those who were with me in those days including some of the perpetrators (who were horrified by my recollections of them) and good friendships have been established recognising that we were all in a sink-estate school where survival depended on how you could cope with the situation you were in. Incidentally, a lack of liking for sports, a natural timidity and detectable sensitivity was enough to label you then just the same as nowadays people seek to label people as sexist, racist etc and create an easy excuse for targetting an individual. Times don't change that much.

 

[birchesgreen]

I's ban the overuse of the word "terrifying", everything seems to be "terrifying" these days. Even stuff that is, at most, mildly concerning.

 

[Paul Jones 88]

Chas and Dave

 

[Busaholic]

This is OT, but I am interested. Maybe someone should create another general thread. I just wondered when ’gay’ became an accepted rather than a derogatory term? I must say I had never heard the term when I was in secondary school in the 70s. Any male homosexual was called a ‘puff’ (this was in Stockport, no idea if it was regional) or ‘pouffe’ not necessarily in a bad way, and female homosexuals were called ‘lesbians’. I think the idea of bisexual was too far for 15 year-old boys in an all-male school to understand. I do hope I am not upsetting anyone, but I am intrigued by how language develops and what certain words imply as they evolve.

Gay News was first published in 1972. I remember attending what was described as a 'gay wedding' in Amsterdam in 1969, although I'm sure it wasn't legally recognised. I've had many gay and lesbian friends over the years without having a single personal inclination to join them in that way. I've never understood antipathy towards gay people, and think Peter Tatchell is an admirable person on the whole.

 

[adrock1976]

Chas and Dave

I don't think they are touring anymore as one of them died a couple of years ago.

 

[Gloster]

I don't think they are touring anymore as one of them died a couple of years ago.

Some years ago, while the original Dave was retired (I think he came back for while), there was an advert for the tour: ‘Chas and Dave (not original Dave)’.

 

[westv]

Chewing gum