Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[py_megapixel]

Setting central heating higher than about 18 to 20 celcius*. If you're cold, put a jumper or coat on!

*Using fahrenheit also gets a ban from me!

 

[Bald Rick]

Recipes that measure by volume used to be normal in the UK as well. The introduction of digital scales that can measure to the gram have led to the change to measuring by weight.

Ounces, surely was normal in the U.K.

 

[Ediswan]

Ounces, surely was normal in the U.K.

Both. Also fluid ounces.

 

[KT550]

American recipes that use 'cups' instead of the weight of each ingredient.

I thought that was a ridiculous way to measure too but aparrently it is a fixed measurement.
I guess American cooks/chefs have a measuring cup of that capacity.

Many British recipes call for tablespoons etc. which might not be well known elsewhere.

From Google:
Officially, a US Cup is 240ml (or 8.45 imperial fluid ounces.) This is slightly different from an Australian, Canadian and South African Cup which is 250ml.

 

[pdeaves]

Officially, a US Cup is 240ml (or 8.45 imperial fluid ounces.) This is slightly different from an Australian, Canadian and South African Cup which is 250ml.

What, an American thing isn't biggest?

I'd 'ban' American movies [1] but that wouldn't leave much left...

[1] mainly for the way Americanisms get into our national psyche

 

[island]

The introduction of digital scales that can measure to the gram have led to the change to measuring by weight.

People calling mass "weight".

 

[Ediswan]

People calling mass "weight".

If you can find a kitchen appliance that measures mass, without involving gravity, I will consider buying it.

To be fair, a traditional balance that compares against a known mass will measure the same regardless of gravity (within reason), but still needs gravity to work.

 

[Cowley]

Going to the shop on the way home from work when you’re really tired and just want to get home, doing the shop and then getting home to find that no-one has mentioned that the toilet roll/tea bags/butter or some other extremely necessary commodity has run out since you left that morning but you weren’t told…

 

[Techniquest]

People calling mass "weight".

Absolutely. It's such an ingrained thing when it comes to losing excess mass that it sounds wrong to use mass when talking to someone about getting healthy. 'I need to lose weight' should never have become a thing, 'I need to lose mass' is much more accurate. Not that it'll ever catch on of course, not these days!

Going to the shop on the way home from work when you’re really tired and just want to get home, doing the shop and then getting home to find that no-one has mentioned that the toilet roll/tea bags/butter or some other extremely necessary commodity has run out since you left that morning but you weren’t told…

Ooh that is beyond frustrating! Especially when it comes with a side order of guilt, along the lines of 'didn't you think to check before you left'

 

[westv]

Can I ban that new TUI advert which opens with "Nothing beats a real holiday"?

The thing they're trying to imply here is that holidays within the UK somehow don't count. As someone who spends an absolute maximum of a few days every year abroad and but in the same timeframe does multiple weeks in destinations in the UK away from home, I think that's incredibly wrong.

It doesn't help that the term "staycation" seems to have morphed into meaning any UK holiday rather than its original meaning of staying at home but going for days out.

 

[Cowley]

Ooh that is beyond frustrating! Especially when it comes with a side order of guilt, along the lines of 'didn't you think to check before you left'

Oh that would definitely sting a bit.

 

[yorksrob]

Platform ends without slopes.

It's just wrong.

 

[Westcountryman]

Recipes that measure by volume used to be normal in the UK as well. The introduction of digital scales that can measure to the gram have led to the change to measuring by weight.

???? Weights were used long before digital scales. Analogue spring scales have been around for donkey's years., and my mum had a balance scale with metal weights.

 

[krus_aragon]

People who leave the advice slip dangling out of the cash point. If you didn't want it, why press the button to ask for one?

On that note, cash machines that give you an initial choice including "cash with receipt" , "cash no receipt", but if you choose the latter, having keyed in the sum you're asked again whether you'd like a receipt.

ATM operators must get paid for individual balance enquiries to do this intentionally: it's more than bad user interface design...

== Doublepost prevention - post automatically merged: 6 Aug 2021 ==

American recipes that use 'cups' instead of the weight of each ingredient.

I'll take the "bye" on my Canadian recipes, then

Seriously, I'm far more comfortable baking with recipes that measure by volume, 'cause that's what my mum was raised with. You can also stave off washing your measures a bit more with measuring cups: e.g. using 1/3 cup three times if the 1 cup is sticky from butter. Rather than wash your scale pan repeatedly, you can do all the cups at once at the end.

Recipes that measure by volume used to be normal in the UK as well. The introduction of digital scales that can measure to the gram have led to the change to measuring by weight.

Converting old recipes from volume to weight isn't straightforward: it depends on the ingredient and its density. Many may find it easier to stick to the old measures, or find a new recipe.

 

[nlogax]

People who end a saying with '..that's my motto'. Is it? Is it really? You have that on a family crest or something? Nos stulti proptur christum ..well done all of you.

Granted it's an utterly irrational peeve.

 

[Ediswan]

???? Weights were used long before digital scales. Analogue spring scales have been around for donkey's years., and my mum had a balance scale with metal weights.

True, but they (the kitchen variety) were not very good for measuring small quantities, hence 'half a teaspoon' etc., measuring by volume.

 

[island]

On that note, cash machines that give you an initial choice including "cash with receipt" , "cash no receipt", but if you choose the latter, having keyed in the sum you're asked again whether you'd like a receipt.

ATM operators must get paid for individual balance enquiries to do this intentionally: it's more than bad user interface design...

They do.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

People who end a saying with '..that's my motto'. Is it? Is it really? You have that on a family crest or something? Nos stulti proptur christum ..well done all of you.

Granted it's an utterly irrational peeve.

In that case it's perfect for this thread! Way back on the first few pages someone said it reminded them of "Breaking News" by Half Man Half Biscuit, and that one definitely does!

A few others:
95% of fish and chips that are served out of a van. You occasionally get a good one but they're just the exception that proves the rule. As an extension of that, any chippy that pulls the fish straight out of the fryer and into the paper, instead of letting it drain and crisp up a bit. Sacrilege!

Mr Whippy "ice-cream". No explanation required.

The speech pattern which I (and perhaps others) call "Welsh Emphasis". That is, the tendency of people particularly from West of Offa's Dyke to end any statement with a short clause that re-asserts the first part. For example, rather than saying "I like chocolate" they'll say "I like chocolate, I do"... as if I wasn't convinced by the first clause! It right bugs me, it does...

 

[Ianno87]

In that case it's perfect for this thread! Way back on the first few pages someone said it reminded them of "Breaking News" by Half Man Half Biscuit, and that one definitely does!

That's another one; news channels announcing anything and everything as "Breaking News", when it used to be reserved for the really big "sit up and pay attention" stories.

 

[nlogax]

That's another one; news channels announcing anything and everything as "Breaking News", when it used to be reserved for the really big "sit up and pay attention" stories.

**** BREAKING NEWS **** Croydon man hits thumb with hammer, swears a bit, carries on hammering.

I agree. It's so tedious. How do we know when really big stories are actually breaking? Will the font size fill the screen?

 

[Ianno87]

**** BREAKING NEWS **** Croydon man hits thumb with hammer, swears a bit, carries on hammering.

I agree. It's so tedious. How do we know when really big stories are actually breaking? Will the font size fill the screen?

The BBC News Homepage goes into 'Big' Mode for the really big stuff, where the headline and picture basically fill the screen.

 

[Meerkat]

Use of pointless and irrelevant stock images in BBC internet stories.

 

[Ianno87]

Use of pointless and irrelevant stock images in BBC internet stories.

Also the BBC using pictures and headlines that are seemingly deliberately provocative to Twitter trolls or omit certain details for the clickbait.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

Also the BBC using pictures and headlines that are seemingly deliberately provocative to Twitter trolls or omit certain details for the clickbait.

See also on the football pages, if a player of a certain team from close to the BBC's new HQ so much as farts in the queue at Starbucks it'll get a story, but major developments at teams without such a global (by which I mean overseas website visits, which means ad revenue) following might get a couple of paragraphs on the "rolling news" page.

 

[xotGD]

That's another one; news channels announcing anything and everything as "Breaking News", when it used to be reserved for the really big "sit up and pay attention" stories.

Stories still being described as 'Breaking News' 6 hours after they broke.

 

[Spamcan81]

Use of pointless and irrelevant stock images in BBC internet stories.

I'd widen that to include the "any old footage will do" attitude of some programme makers.

 

[61653 HTAFC]

People who don't own Television sets but never b****y shut up about it! See also, people who think "not liking football" is a personality trait.

 

[Ediswan]

Stories still being described as 'Breaking News' 6 hours after they broke.

My local news web site still 'features' a video of a fire which occured in 2017.

 

[westv]

People who don't own Television sets but never b****y shut up about it! See also, people who think "not liking football" is a personality trait.

I'd add to that people who claim they "don't like music".

 

[riceuten]

People saying "All the double-ewes" when giving a web address.

In Polish, this sounds like Vau-Vau-Vau which gives me the giggles