Just ban those click bait adverts altogether!
"How Julie Andrews lives at 85 will make you cry", "They couldn't believe what they found when exploring their new house"....EVERYTHING!!!
-
Our new ticketing site is now live! Using either this or the original site (both powered by TrainSplit) helps support the running of the forum with every ticket purchase! Find out more and ask any questions/give us feedback in this thread!
Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you
- Thread starter py_megapixel
- Start date
"How Julie Andrews lives at 85 will make you cry", "They couldn't believe what they found when exploring their new house"....EVERYTHING!!!
Sponsor Post - registered members do not see these adverts; click here to register, or click here to log in
R
RailUK Forums
johnnychips
Established Member
People feeding pigeons.
py_megapixel
Established Member
I see that sometimes in YouTube comments and even in video titles. Ban that as well.
birchesgreen
Established Member
I think in some systems it puts it like that if the user posts in all-capitals (something else which should be banned of course).
And @johnnychips says: "People feeding pigeons".
What is it with this hate that people have for the family Columbidae?
Autoincorrect
gg1
Established Member
Definitely.
In a similar vein I would like to add people who use the same spoon for both coffee and sugar and people who use damp spoons to pick up sugar.
nlogax
Established Member
Marmite, full stop. Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
Another one; people who expect immediate replies in WhatsApp just because they notice the two blue ticks of you having read their previous message.
I'd end read notifications full stop.
riceuten
Member
- Joined
- 23 May 2018
- Messages
- 951
I would ban
* people who go one stop on the bus, or a couple of stops, but insist on sitting at the back of the bus and spend ages getting off. They are almost ALWAYS the same people who insist on paying cash and kick off when the driver doesn't have change for a £20 note
* people who demand you move from a 4 seat bay on a train when they get on - ask me nicely and I might consider it
* people standing in the aisles of planes trying to extract whichever device/publication they have just spent 45 minutes playing with/reading waiting to board the plane. And getting up 3 or 4 times during a 1 hour flight to stow it and re-extract it
* people who stand in the entrance way to shops sending a text or making a call
* people who say that everything (usually whatever the local council has done) is ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING
* people who barge to the front of queues "cos I got kids, innit"
* people whinging about immigration endlessly, and yet they've bought a property in Spain 'to get away from the immigrants'
* people who read the Daily Telegraph and whinge on endlessly about people no longer getting dressed up to go to the theatre or out for a meal. This is 2021, not the 1950s
* people who start sentences with "I'm not being funny, right, but...(I am about to come out with a racist stream of drivel)
* people who say "Do you know what the Council turned round and said to me?" I've no idea, but I am pretty sure no revolving was involved
* people who say they "hate France and French people" based on a single traumatic trip aged 11 to a campsite in Normandy
* people who claim that halal slaughter "is cruel" and yet will tuck into a hamburger where instead the cow has had its brains shot out. I am sure the cow was very grateful for that
* people who put some badly designed, misspelt piece of Britian First [sic] propaganda on their Facebook timeline, inevitably entitled "Enough is Enough", usually involving Muslims or asylum seekers and occasionally Muslim asylum seekers
* people who go one stop on the bus, or a couple of stops, but insist on sitting at the back of the bus and spend ages getting off. They are almost ALWAYS the same people who insist on paying cash and kick off when the driver doesn't have change for a £20 note
* people who demand you move from a 4 seat bay on a train when they get on - ask me nicely and I might consider it
* people standing in the aisles of planes trying to extract whichever device/publication they have just spent 45 minutes playing with/reading waiting to board the plane. And getting up 3 or 4 times during a 1 hour flight to stow it and re-extract it
* people who stand in the entrance way to shops sending a text or making a call
* people who say that everything (usually whatever the local council has done) is ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING
* people who barge to the front of queues "cos I got kids, innit"
* people whinging about immigration endlessly, and yet they've bought a property in Spain 'to get away from the immigrants'
* people who read the Daily Telegraph and whinge on endlessly about people no longer getting dressed up to go to the theatre or out for a meal. This is 2021, not the 1950s
* people who start sentences with "I'm not being funny, right, but...(I am about to come out with a racist stream of drivel)
* people who say "Do you know what the Council turned round and said to me?" I've no idea, but I am pretty sure no revolving was involved
* people who say they "hate France and French people" based on a single traumatic trip aged 11 to a campsite in Normandy
* people who claim that halal slaughter "is cruel" and yet will tuck into a hamburger where instead the cow has had its brains shot out. I am sure the cow was very grateful for that
* people who put some badly designed, misspelt piece of Britian First [sic] propaganda on their Facebook timeline, inevitably entitled "Enough is Enough", usually involving Muslims or asylum seekers and occasionally Muslim asylum seekers
Last edited:
py_megapixel
Established Member
Probably something like "No you may not park your humongous Land Rover Discovery illegally on the double yellow lies and blocking the pavement outside that childrens' playground without getting a penalty notice", if I understand what kind of person you're trying to refer to...
adrock1976
Established Member
Regarding Comic Sans, I heard from somebody years ago that it helped their son to read as he is dyslexic.
py_megapixel
Established Member
Following on from my previous post, I would ban parking on double yellow lines.
Wait....
Wait....
riceuten
Member
- Joined
- 23 May 2018
- Messages
- 951
Much loved by primary schools, who apparently swear on its efficaciousness
LSWR Cavalier
Established Member
What about loud radio pop music in a charity bookshop? When selecting books I like to pick some up, then sit down and browse, deciding which to buy, need a bit of quiet to think.
Should one politely ask for the music to be turned off (mentioning that one may spend 20 quid or more)? If the request is refused ("no-one has complained before!") I lose face and may choose to leave, thus missing some interesting books.
Just had a thought: I should claim to have a medical condition, allergy to noise, that might work.
Techniquest
Veteran Member
When I used to partake of sugar in my coffee, I used to use the same spoon to put coffee and sugar in my cup. Well, I say cup but it's actually a mug...Not an issue now though, as I don't even have sugar in my coffee out and about. I tried it recently, for a boost during a long power-walk, but it ruined the coffee and I was left much more dehydrated. Never again!
Talking of coffee, I say it's time cafetiere manufacturers stopped suggesting a small one is a 3-cup cafetiere. Umm no, my small mug has plenty of space left! The old-fashioned tiny coffee cups are no longer a thing, the world has moved on and we like our coffee to come in barrells!
On the subject of sugar and coffee/tea, I'd ban anyone who puts sugar in tea and then doesn't mix it in well enough. There's no point in putting the sugar in and letting it sink to the bottom: it might dissolve into some of the tea but normally you end up with a dreadful cup of tea for the most part until the end when you intake more sugar in one mouthful than you would if you ate the contents of one of those American sweet shops*.
-Peter
*(I'd ban those too - or at least the ones which are too over-the-top)
-Peter
*(I'd ban those too - or at least the ones which are too over-the-top)
tbtc
Veteran Member
Yeah, I had a colleague like that - conversations with her made me dizzy, given the way that "I turned round to him and he turned round to me and she turned round to him and..."
Yes!
As a Scot, I'd also add the similar "people who criticise haggis because it's made with the less pure cuts of meat" but will happily have sausages/ nuggets etc"
I can accept vegetarians complaining about the Halal method of slaughter, or the content of haggis etc but I've known people who'll happily eat dirty great kebabs of questionable provenance (the kind of meat quality that even Discworld's CMOT Dibbler would feel dubious about) and yet turn their noses up at haggis/ halal
On the subject of sugar in tea...
People who say that when you give up sugar in tea, that after two weeks if you accidentally put sugar in tea you will find it disgusting.
It’s been 15 years now, and when I accidentally put sugar in tea it’s still “Mmmmmm. Nice tea”
People who say that when you give up sugar in tea, that after two weeks if you accidentally put sugar in tea you will find it disgusting.
It’s been 15 years now, and when I accidentally put sugar in tea it’s still “Mmmmmm. Nice tea”
Nice Dibbler reference there!
Busaholic
Veteran Member
- Joined
- 7 Jun 2014
- Messages
- 14,671
People with large rucksacks on their backs in small shops so no-one can get pass. They are inevitably deaf as well as daft, so will never be aware of someone trying to squeeze past. As their wallet is in the backpack, they never buy anything anyway, but are just awaiting the arrival of the next spaceship or whatever. An Anti Rucksack Special Edict order would do the trick, I feel. (This is a Public Information Announcement on behalf of small booksellers everywhere.)
GusB
Established Member
I once tried to cut out sugar in hot drinks and, while I was unable to do so with coffee, I found tea palatable enough without it. It's only when you visit a friend and they remember how you used to take it that you suddenly remember how you used to take it.
birchesgreen
Established Member
Anyone who describes themselves as a "thought leader"
Or describe themselves as an expert.
py_megapixel
Established Member
Can I ban that new TUI advert which opens with "Nothing beats a real holiday"?
The thing they're trying to imply here is that holidays within the UK somehow don't count. As someone who spends an absolute maximum of a few days every year abroad and but in the same timeframe does multiple weeks in destinations in the UK away from home, I think that's incredibly wrong.
The thing they're trying to imply here is that holidays within the UK somehow don't count. As someone who spends an absolute maximum of a few days every year abroad and but in the same timeframe does multiple weeks in destinations in the UK away from home, I think that's incredibly wrong.