The only thing lacking in the description now relates to any smells that the commuter encounters. I have heard about stale body odour in the summer and 'wet dog' in the winter.
Well, smell is somewhat difficult to describe as I suppose it's a particularly subjective thing. However, generally speaking, I'd say most trains these days lack a specific smell, except when they're brand new, where they sometimes have a slight "new car" smell. That lack of any particular smell is then filled in by other things depending on the situation.
For instance, in the evening hours of Friday and Saturday (and in the worst case well into Sunday/Monday mornings) the smell of spilt beer or sick might be quite dominant. During the week, it's also not that uncommon for trains to smell of various fast food take-aways (curry, kebab or Chinese noodles).
Then there's, as you say, the smell of body odour (particularly in summer rush hours), deodorants and perfume (if people are standing closely together) etc.
Lastly, there's also that slightly clinical stinging smell of cleaning detergents in the early hours of the morning (or sometimes in the late evening), if the train has just recently been cleaned.
On a side-note: as was also stated above, a curious but common feature of commuting these days is even minutes ahead of arrival everyone getting up and nervously, though silently shuffling towards the doors in the hope of making a quick and efficient escape, only for the train then to take a while to come to a standstill and there to be a few seconds where the train has actually stopped but the doors haven't been unlocked yet. This will not stop some commuters from frantically pressing the "open door" button, to no effect, then finally the characteristic "doors unlocked" chime will metaphorically set commuters free, the doors will open and the heard of commuters will be released from the train like a swarm of bees. Despite all the nervousness and hectic movements, the commuters themselves don't tend to make much noise inside the train, neither does the train itself most of the time, especially when coming to a standstill. So, the various chimes and automatic announcements will probably be the loudest sounds inside the train, accompanied by the soft (and relatively quiet) whirr of the AC traction motors, only then to be contrasted with the usually much louder environment of the station, once the doors have opened and people step onto the platform.
Note that the delay between the train coming to a standstill and the doors opening is the case on almost all of London's suburban commuter services, where the doors are still electronically unlocked and locked/closed by guards, who have to step out onto the platform first (hence the delay), but passengers still have to press a button for their respective door to open.
On London Underground trains, doors tend to open rather swiftly (with very little delay) and all are opened and closed at the same time, again electronically, by the driver. Other than that, the hectic "build up" in front of the doors is exactly the same in either case.
Lastly, it's worth mentioning the fact that most commuters in rush hour these days will either be staring at their smartphone (wether sitting, standing or walking) or listening to music on headphones / earphones or quite commonly both.