Did I just meet Britain's dumbest rail passenger?

[PG]

Used to see that on Hsts all the time

Indeed you do/did. I think @Darandio was referring to non-slam doors and people assuming they'll automatically open when you get near to them.

Maybe if the buttons looked similar to those that some premises now have ie pushpad style then people would realise that they have to press the button to operate?

 

[Cowley]

Indeed you do/did. I think @Darandio was referring to non-slam doors and people assuming they'll automatically open when you get near to them.

Maybe if the buttons looked similar to those that some premises now have ie pushpad style then people would realise that they have to press the button to operate?

I mean maybe. But there’s something quite satisfying about watching someone staring so hard at a door opening button that smoke starts to come out of their ears as you walk away that I find quite appealing.

 

[D365]

Never mind slam doors, i've lost count of the numerous times i've watched people just stare at a door and expect it to open automatically, I try to be gentle when pointing out the button. I think often it is people travelling in different parts of the country than where they are used to.

I usually find that people, in my experience, push the button repeatedly before it has illuminated. Then when the guard actually releases the doors (and the button does illuminate), they just stop and stand there.

 

[sprinterguy]

Never mind slam doors, i've lost count of the numerous times i've watched people just stare at a door and expect it to open automatically, I try to be gentle when pointing out the button. I think often it is people travelling in different parts of the country than where they are used to.

Encountered a spate of similar incidents within the space of a week recently, where the passenger in front of me has stood staring at the door after it's released and the 'Door Open' button has lit up, so I've gently reached around them and pressed it which seems to have the effect of bringing them back to their senses as they immediately leap to press the 'Door Close' button as it subsequently lights up...Which jams the door ajar, little use to anybody.

I know that the 'Door Open' and 'Door Close' buttons are transposed on Voyagers compared to a lot of other modern stock around the network, but if you are in fact waiting to press a button when the train comes to a stand then surely the one labelled 'Open' that lights up and starts making bleeping noises first would be the one to aim for?

I usually find that people, in my experience, push the button repeatedly before it has illuminated. Then when the guard actually releases the doors (and the button does illuminate), they just stop and stand there.

There was a chap a few months ago who did exactly that and then gave me a funny look when I decided to help him out after a little while and press the button for him after it had illuminated so that the door would actually open.

Certainly witnessed passengers staring at the inside of HST slam doors in either dull bewilderment or fevered panic a few times as described above, which I can understand: Doors with handles that you have to open from the outside have been in decline across the network for some years now.

It is important to remember that come the next election of whatever sort all these people will have as many votes as everyone else.

Fortunately proficiency in railway enthusiasm has no bearing on political awareness.

 

[PG]

Fortunately proficiency in railway enthusiasm has no bearing on political awareness.

but it could have some bearing on awareness of issues that will affect the railway.

 

[sprinterguy]

but it could have some bearing on awareness of issues that will affect the railway.

Off topic, but railways are typically a long way down people's political considerations in general, which is appropriate to their importance to the population at large.

 

[Darandio]

Indeed you do/did. I think @Darandio was referring to non-slam doors and people assuming they'll automatically open when you get near to them.

Not that they assume they will automatically open, but it seems to me that they are often from outside the area and are more used to alighting at a busy station where several people are waiting to board and will open the door from outside.

 

[Calthrop]

This wasn’t a mistake as such but he was definitely the dumbest passenger I’ve ever overheard heard on a train...
He was a young man (19/20ish I’d say) on a train from Exmouth to Exeter one evening who proceeded to tell the story that him and his mate had turned up at Exeter Central late one night and realising that they’d missed the last train they’d managed to find “one of those hand pump trolleys like what you sees in films, and drove it all the way home to Exmouth down the train tracks”...

Even his mates changed the subject to save him from himself as his story started to tail off.
What an absolute carrot cruncher.

With particular reference to post's first sentence -- one could perhaps see this lad not actually as dumb; but just as giving free rein to his (not very fertile) imagination ...

 

[Kingspanner]

Slightly off-topic but, years ago I was coming back first-class from Waverley on a Friday evening and settling in with some complementaries when a very fat american passenger across the aisle commenced to nail his neighbours to their seats with a very loud account of his adventures here in England(!). Just when I was thinking that we would get no peace at all, he launched into his admiration for our NHS which he contrasted favourably with american healthcare.
Apparently, he explained at full volume, while at home in California he and his (possibly equally fat) wife had been dressing to go out for dinner when he had suddenly gone blind in one eye and collapsed. (Now the whole carriage is interested). Paramedics rushed him to hospital where after $40,000 worth of tests his insurance company refused to reimburse him. The reason was that he had cut off the blood supply to his head because his shirt collar was too tight.
I'm afraid I sat there and laughed out loud.

 

[Journeyman]

When I worked at Charing Cross Underground station, I had someone ask me how to get to Barking, as they needed to get there for a job interview. I pointed them out of the station and up the road to Embankment, where they could get the District line. They then asked me how long it would take, and I said you should probably allow about forty minutes.

At this point, the guy went ballistic, telling me he needed to be there in twenty minutes, and demanded to know what I would do to get him there in time.

Certainly, sir, I'll just alter London's geography for you!

 

[jmh59]

Not that they assume they will automatically open, but it seems to me that they are often from outside the area and are more used to alighting at a busy station where several people are waiting to board and will open the door from outside.

I can't remember when I've ever had to either open or close a train door because the few times I get a train there's usually a crowd which I follow. Mind you I reckon I'd figure it out.

(that said I did once get stumped by a glass office door that said Pull so there I was pulling - I'd read the Pull sign backwards as it was on the outside... duh)

 

[Merle Haggard]

Having carefully and clearly explained the simple way down the stairs and passageway immediately next to us towards the District Line Praed Street station at Paddington while on the main concourse, I watched open mouthed as the passenger with a large suitcase, two smaller bags, his wife and three small children in tow who wanted to get to Earl's Court slowly struggled away towards the Bishop's Road station...

Not dumb passengers but unhelpful LT staff.

On my daily commute from Paddington - Euston (years ago) I arrived at the top of the stairs down to the Circle line. It was closed for some reason, and LT staff were explaining to passengers how to walk to Edgware Road. I saw some set off up the slope to Praed St, struggling with suitcases.
The LT people then started to shout 'Circle Line closed' so I asked one of them 'is the Hammersmith line running?' and the answer was something on the lines of 'of course, we said Circle Line' with 'stupid' afterwards, inferred by their tone.
And it was running as normally as passes for that line. It's a lot closer to the Circle Line station than Edgware Road...

 

[30907]

I mean maybe. But there’s something quite satisfying about watching someone staring so hard at a door opening button that smoke starts to come out of their ears as you walk away that I find quite appealing.

To be fair, there are some countries where you can (still) push the door release in advance - and NR is AFAIK unique in the long delays that occur before doors are released.

 

[Tracked]

The HST door one I've seen was a middle-aged looking passenger between Sheffield and Chesterfield, they were getting off at Chesterfield but stood up shortly after it left Sheffield (round about Heeley) and then stood in the middle of the vestibule being mostly oblivious to the interior doors opening and shutting right next to them. Trolley person had to ask them to get out of the way, which they did until the trolley had gone past, when they went back to setting off the doors. I went into the carriage next to them, suspecting door opening would be interesting (someone on Chesterfield station opened it for them).

 

[TheEdge]

Have one that can definitely not be attributed to dumb and not unfamiliar.

I was once blamed for causing someone to miss their train as the platform numbers had been changed around at Norwich and have apparently always been, in order; 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 5.

 

[Springs Branch]

Hapless idiots are not unique to the UK.
Adelaide in South Australia has a small six-line S-Bahn type suburban rail system (partially electrified, part DMU operated).
All lines run from Adelaide Station, a 9-platform dead-end terminus in the city centre.
A family friend works as a RPI on this system and tells this story:-

One weekday there was an operational meltdown just before the evening peak (catastrophic signalling issue, IIRC) and all trains were suspended for the foreseeable future.

• At Adelaide station, large noticeboards were wheeled out at all entrances directing commuters to hastily-arranged replacement buses in adjacent streets.
• The station concourse, normally bustling with streams of homeward commuters, was deserted - apart from a few station staff in hi-vis vests and the occasional pedestrian using the concourse as a short-cut.
• All departure boards were blank, the ticket barrier line locked open and each platform PIS showed "No service scheduled to depart".
• The PA system periodically apologised and directed passengers to the substitute buses.
• All the tracks were empty, with not a train to be seen.

Despite all this, standing here & there, all alone on the deserted platforms was a handful of commuters, laptop bag or handbag between their feet, waiting at their usual spot on their usual platform for their usual train.

My friend was the mug who had to go along and one-by-one tap them on the shoulder.
Without exception, she says, their response was an angry and irritated "well why wasn't I told?".
No-one looked around themselves at their silent, deserted surroundings and acknowledged "Oh, I've been a bit silly, haven't I"

 

[AnthonyRail]

Being asked if there was a railway station local by a geezer while out walking the dog at night and after telling him there was but the last train was in 1958 he said he would catch the next mornings train

 

[vlad]

Being asked if there was a railway station local by a geezer while out walking the dog at night and after telling him there was but the last train was in 1958 he said he would catch the next mornings train

If the last train was just before 8pm then it's likely services will resume in the morning.

 

[talltim]

Being asked if there was a railway station local by a geezer while out walking the dog at night and after telling him there was but the last train was in 1958 he said he would catch the next mornings train

Perhaps he thought you said ‘at 19:58’
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