the problem is you seem to miss the point... I'm not saying that the EU is like the 3rd Reich... but what I have tried to do, in answer to what would happen if the 27 had a single united army, is look to history to see what lessons can be learned from it... ok so for 50 yrs it might be a "benelovent" and "enlightened" army... but history shows that when one european entity gets too overbearing it usually leads to war... and also, despite how enlightened we all like to think we are today it might be worth remembering how quickly Germany decended from being an enlightened democracy into the most evil dictatorship ever known on this planet... who's to say that history wouldn't repeat itself and throw up another despot... and imagine what they could do with the starting point of 27 countries worth of armies.
As to engaging... one thing I really have not seen anywhere is remainers saying "ok I don't agree with leaving, but I accept the will of the people so this is what I would want as a bare minimum in the deal.
In reality, by continuing to expose and evaluate the potential risks of the harebrained 'exit at all costs' attitude, there is now an increasing level of awareness of just what the majority of the UK population will lose. The effect of this elightenment has been to isolate the more extreme views (on both sides of the argument) and the negotiations are taking a course that more represents the actual split of the votes i.e. ~52%-48%. Just because the referendum was presented as a binary choice for each individual voter, the result clearly indicates that 'the will of the people' is nowhere near binary and Parliament is taking a more generally acceptable route in dealing with the matter. There's no point ranting on and on about what was said in the campaigns 30 months ago*, that is all irrelevant as
nobody has any quantative insight as to how those lies, exaggerations and optimistic claims affected the vote.
The only thing that we can be sure of is that voting for remaining in the EU was from a viewpoint of living, eating and breathing as EU citizens. Of course there were laws and government actions that were anathemas to many, but that is a consequence of any legislature and nobody is under any illusion that that will change just by walking away from the EU. My experience (as an adult) of life in an EEC/EC/EU member state for 45 years has not been any worse than the previous decade. Indeed, most of the directives unanimously adopted have improved my lifestyle and working life, (despite the continuing efforts of Conservative administrations to remove workers rights and fight EU directives that seek to improve fairness for employees).
On the leaver's side there is a continuing stream of 'jam tomorrow' that in my experience is just typical political fodder for the masses. The difference here is that none of it can be proven and making the wrong decision with our future EU relationship now will make all of our lives a lot worse than they are now (with the exception of wealthy speculators) and once the self-righteousness glow from pulling up the drawbridge on immigraion fades, we will see just how much the rest of the world
needs the UK.
* Alleged transgressions of electoral law however must be subject to due process and if proven, sentences appropriate to the crime and as a deterrent to others in the future, issued.