Hi, I was wondering if there are any other gay people out there, who work on heritage railways and interested in model railways too. Is there a club out there for us and what is your experience. While I love my work, it is the only place where I feel that I have to be closeted.
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Gay people in heritage railways
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Hi there fireftrm. Thanks for your comment and glad to here your positive experience. The line where I volunteer is predominantly male macho with some remembering the old days of steam which is great, but I feel that to be out with them would be risky. It would be nice to touch base with other gay enthusiasts so that I wouldn't feel so isolated. I just wonder if there was a line where others are out.
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My employer is actively trying to recruit minority groups such as straight people, but failing miserably so it seems. Some years ago, when I arrived, I really used to be the only gay in the depot, kind of a novelty. Now, my best mate calls himself "the last straight bloke standing" in the depot :P
Jonfun
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Certainly a sizeable minority, if not a small majority, of staff at my last two heritage railways were gay. The "big railway" has slightly fewer, but It's still a significant number. I honestly doubt it'll be a problem.
STEVIEBOY1
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I don't know of any gay rail clubs etc, but I have met a number of gay/tvs on some railway themed holidays that I have been on. It is a shame if there are anti gay comments being raised where you have been to or are a member of.
Having said that, there is still a lot of discrimination going on these days, gay/racist etc etc. I do understand that sometimes owing to peer and or family pressure/reasons it is better to stay in the closet. Sad in this day and age though.
Having said that, there is still a lot of discrimination going on these days, gay/racist etc etc. I do understand that sometimes owing to peer and or family pressure/reasons it is better to stay in the closet. Sad in this day and age though.
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Not quite the answer you're looking for, I'm not gay, but I'm in the rural south west and have several gay friends who are involved with heritage railways, and also heritage buses. Infact in my rail/bus friends more are gay than straight.
Just be yourself. To be blunt the vast majority couldn't care less of someone's sexual orientation.
Today for example the media are all running a big story about Colin Jackson coming out as gay, why is this even news? Why is it any of our business, and what difference does it make.
What does annoy me and many others I know, is the need of some gays to make a big song and dance and drama coming out. Your still the same person before and after and sexuality will not impact what the majority think. I don't need a stage show for announcing Their gay.
I'm going to do a bit of heart on sleeve here for a change which is rather rare for me (except for on the issue of driver only operated trains
)and give you a bit of insight in to my soul. The UK has changed immeasurably in the last few years but even here people get hurt or killed over their sexuality from time to time still. Growing up all children tend to be educated is that girls and boys get together (once they've stopped being yucky) and you're lucky if the issue of being gay is raised properly before your teens when at some times you're thoroughly aware of being different long before that. On the other end of the scale the likes of ISIS have been making 'a big song and dance' about throwing such people off buildings and in other perfectly normal holiday destinations that are part of the Commonwealth like Jamaica it still carries penalty of death.
Some people are fine and it's never an issue for them.
Other people are not. I am not a camp man. The very vast majority of people I come across don't have an inkling that actually I'm gay unless I tell them and I've been out, open and in a long term relationship for years.
I went through school and had girlfriends which never worked out well for me and always had a feeling of being different. I started volunteering on a heritage railway at 16 and went to university at 18 and it finally hit me being around some like minded folk - oh bugger, I'm actually gay.
Unless you've been there I don't think you can understand the fear and potential self loathing you can find yourself confronted with. I'm from a fairly traditional family and I'm my dad's first born - what are my family going to think when they find out I'm really not going to have kids, what will my friends think - I've been hearing gay as a playground insult as long as I can remember. Will they still want to know me?
As a consequence I internalised it for a while but slowly became a bit more confident behind closed doors.
Then I was outed. My friend left his phone on a table in a pub while he was out with some mutual friends and someone read a text I sent him and that was that. I was on the railway with some others from the group at the time and someone rang me to give me the heads up and I just dropped to the floor and burst into tears with the stress and it was another 2 years or so before I told my parents after that. Now I've come to terms with myself and I really am happy but it was a long and bumpy road.
The other side of the coin is just getting it and thinking to hell with it and that's what you'll see - just get it out there and stop worrying. Let them get on with it - they're young and they'll grow up and grow out of it like most things young people do. I did myself some damage mentally and I know what I would rather have felt able to do looking back. I wasted a lot of time (though nothing compared to the decades by some)
I think I've moved up a generation on my heritage railway now - I'm a duty manager/RO and I'm a bit older. I'm watching the next-generation of 'kids' come through and it's genuinely heart warming to watch them all pretty much not giving a damn about sexuality and getting on together.
The moral of my post - please don't judge people too much by their external presentation because there could still be a lot going on inside that you're not aware of.
STEVIEBOY1
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I'm going to do a bit of heart on sleeve here for a change which is rather rare for me (except for on the issue of driver only operated trains
The UK has changed immeasurably in the last few years but even here people get hurt or killed over their sexuality from time to time still. Growing up all children tend to be educated is that girls and boys get together (once they've stopped being yucky) and you're lucky if the issue of being gay is raised properly before your teens when at some times you're thoroughly aware of being different long before that. On the other end of the scale the likes of ISIS have been making 'a big song and dance' about throwing such people off buildings and in other perfectly normal holiday destinations that are part of the Commonwealth like Jamaica it still carries penalty of death.
Some people are fine and it's never an issue for them.
Other people are not. I am not a camp man. The very vast majority of people I come across don't have an inkling that actually I'm gay unless I tell them and I've been out, open and in a long term relationship for years.
I went through school and had girlfriends which never worked out well for me and always had a feeling of being different. I started volunteering on a heritage railway at 16 and went to university at 18 and it finally hit me being around some like minded folk - oh bugger, I'm actually gay.
Unless you've been there I don't think you can understand the fear and potential self loathing you can find yourself confronted with. I'm from a fairly traditional family and I'm my dad's first born - what are my family going to think when they find out I'm really not going to have kids, what will my friends think - I've been hearing gay as a playground insult as long as I can remember. Will they still want to know me?
As a consequence I internalised it for a while but slowly became a bit more confident behind closed doors.
Then I was outed. My friend left his phone on a table in a pub while he was out with some mutual friends and someone read a text I sent him and that was that. I was on the railway with some others from the group at the time and someone rang me to give me the heads up and I just dropped to the floor and burst into tears with the stress and it was another 2 years or so before I told my parents after that. Now I've come to terms with myself and I really am happy but it was a long and bumpy road.
The other side of the coin is just getting it and thinking to hell with it and that's what you'll see - just get it out there and stop worrying. Let them get on with it - they're young and they'll grow up and grow out of it like most things young people do. I did myself some damage mentally and I know what I would rather have felt able to do looking back. I wasted a lot of time (though nothing compared to the decades by some)
I think I've moved up a generation on my heritage railway now - I'm a duty manager/RO and I'm a bit older. I'm watching the next-generation of 'kids' come through and it's genuinely heart warming to watch them all pretty much not giving a damn about sexuality and getting on together.
The moral of my post - please don't judge people too much by their external presentation because there could still be a lot going on inside that you're not aware of.
Very well said, thank you for posting this.
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