Young children on trains

[Bletchleyite]

btw are adults, with their headphones in, listening to mch mch mch mch music not worse

No, because it's relatively rare for that to be so loud that wearing your own (at a sensible volume) doesn't drown it out, whereas a film out loud can't be drowned out with your own headphones unless you have yours too loud and cause annoyance.

 

[Segedunum]

Newsflash: If children hurt themselves, they normally cry.

I appreciate that some of the posters in this thread are young themselves. You'll realise as you get older that your fellow adults can be far more annoying!

This. I think about age 17 I had a turning point and went from getting irritated by kids to just accepting that I was once like that [emoji38]

Sent from my F3111 using Tapatalk

 

[J-2739]

Newsflash: If children hurt themselves, they normally cry.

Well nooooo...

I appreciate that some of the posters in this thread are young themselves. You'll realise as you get older that your fellow adults can be far more annoying!

I suppose your right.

 

[theblackwatch]

You get the same type of complaint regarding children and aeroplanes. And pubs, restaurants, shopping malls, holiday camps ... you name it. At least on a train you can usually switch carriage.

Our children, and our grandchildren, have always behaved well at all these places, it's how they're brought up. I was in a child-friendly pub recently and two children who were old enough to know better were playing hide-and-seek in and out of tables and being a menace to people carrying drink and food.

I take it very badly when people start saying my children/grandchildren should be barred from somewhere because other peoples children have been noisy or messy. And trains are a GREAT way of travelling with children, as anyone who has taken three of them in the back seat of a car on a long journey will agree.

(P.S. On one occasion my infant son screamed with terror on a train, but only because the lights weren't working when we passed through Sough Tunnel).

I think this post sums up well quite a few things. The problem in many cases isn't the children, it's the parents! Although I'm sure we were a bit of a pain to others at times, when I was a child, as a family, we would often go out to places on the train for a day - my mum would bring stuff along that kept us amused for the journey, such as an 'I spy book', sheets of paper, coloured pencils etc. Then on the journey, my folks would spend it interacting with us, rather than being glued to a mobile phone... We'd look out for things on particular journeys, like down to the Midlands there was the crooked spire at Chesterfield and the chimney with fire in it just after (Avenue coking plant) - these are things which still stick in my mind even though it's 30-40 years ago.

One of the issues now though is that trains, being more child/family friendly in some ways (such as baby changing facilities in toilets), are not so in others - we would sit together round a table as a family. Nowadays, particularly on some TOCs like GWR, there are so few table seats available, and when there is one, you find that a single person has decided to sit at it! Even being able to see out of the window isn't important. Aargh....

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

Newsflash: If children hurt themselves, they normally cry.

Eugh. Don't get me thinking about it!

 

[Parallel]

To be honest, I'm not bothered about children on trains. Yes, it can be a bit annoying if they're loud or whatever but you have to expect this in a public place, and trains are public transport.

The only thing that really annoys me is when children are intent on kicking the back of your seat, even if their parents/I ask them to stop. I'm not even old but would have never dreamt of doing it when I was younger, especially if told to stop. I think it comes down to more of a lack of respect.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

To be honest, I'm not bothered about children on trains. Yes, it can be a bit annoying if they're loud or whatever but you have to expect this in a public place, and trains are public transport.

The only thing that really annoys me is when children are intent on kicking the back of your seat, even if their parents/I ask them to stop. I'm not even old but would have never dreamt of doing it when I was younger, especially if told to stop. I think it comes down to more of a lack of respect.

That would be horribly annoying - I wouldn't ever ask them to stop though. I don't know why, but if I was a young child I would be scared if a strangers head just appeared from the seat in front and told me off!

 

[Bletchleyite]

Nowadays, particularly on some TOCs like GWR, there are so few table seats available, and when there is one, you find that a single person has decided to sit at it!

Perhaps you should consider making a reservation. If you do it at a station they can ensure you get a table.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

What do you think about screaming kids in First class though? You've paid all that money for an enhanced experience, and I for one will go ballistic tomorrow if my Highland Chieftain journey in First is ruined!

Oh gosh, I hate myself for sounding so Ebenezer Scroogeish but I can't help it!

Perhaps a KidFree coach on long distance trains would be good? Quiet zone perhaps?

PS: Yay, 200th RailUKForums post! 20% of the way to becoming an Established member!

 

[theblackwatch]

Perhaps you should consider making a reservation. If you do it at a station they can ensure you get a table.

I don't need to - I no longer travel as a child with my parents! But all those families that do might like to try reserving one of the 2 tables in the TS on the HST out of Paddington....

 

[Darandio]

Perhaps First class could be for 10s and over?

We made it there already, bonus points for me. Don't be so silly.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

We made it there already, bonus points for me. Don't be so silly.

Why silly? If you're under 10 you probably won't appreciate it anyway!

Please Note: I have chosen to withdraw this comment

Kind Regards,
TT-ONR-NRN

 

[AnonymousUser1]

We made it there already, bonus points for me. Don't be so silly.

indeed , I believe the phrase being looked for is "check your privilege" as most of these idiotic suggestions come from those who possess all four of the major p rivileges White, Males (pass as ) Straight , (pass as ) Cisgender .

Bonus points if said white, cis, het, males claim that minorities have all the privileges in these political correctness gone mad elfnsafetyinnit days ...

 

[Darandio]

Why silly? If you're under 10 you probably won't appreciate it anyway!

My kids appreciate it very much, there is a sense of wonder about it for them.

But because you are intolerant of children, you would like to disallow my children from travelling in first class despite them not being an issue for others. Can you see how that grates a bit?

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

My kids appreciate it very much, there is a sense of wonder about it for them.

But because you are intolerant of children, you would like to disallow my children from travelling in first class despite them not being an issue for others. Can you see how that grates a bit?

Yes. I'm sorry. What I am doing is assuming all children are the same.

Sorry. I'm a bit of a hypocrite. The other day I was glared at by an old man for daring to sit in first. He probably thinks all teenagers are thugs; (wrongly) and it looks like I am very rudely suggesting all children are noisy. I am ever so sorry! Will remove that statement.

 

[Darandio]

Yes. I'm sorry. What I am doing is assuming all children are the same.

No need to apologise, it's an internet forum and people have their own views, we don't have to agree on anything and when we don't it can be a healthy debate.

Really hope you enjoy tomorrow as well, seems you have been looking forward to it for a while.

 

[AndrewP]

agreed - but stuffed shirts also need to be respectful of children and understand they are yet to reach the level of perfection displayed by many posters here.

They are kids. All kids will act up especially if they are bored or tired or hungry.

You are absolutely right - many adults are worse than kids.

With kids, as long as the parents care and are trying that's the important thing

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

No need to apologise, it's an internet forum and people have their own views, we don't have to agree on anything and when we don't it can be a healthy debate.

Really hope you enjoy tomorrow as well, seems you have been looking forward to it for a while.

Thank you. That's very nice of you, yes I have thanks! You seem to have taught me something too. If I have the pleasure of kids in my coach who are very loud, I will smile and think "Ah, bless, how lovely that young children enjoy train trips as much as I do!" and if they scream I will be sympathetic and think "I hope they feel better soon!"

Gosh, I am maturing! Don't know how I'll manage to cope on my nine hour flight to St Lucia in August, but I'm sure I'll be fine!

Z

 

[al78]

As usual the strawman arguments come flying out. The issue is with BADLY BEHAVED children, not babies who cry because that is what they do, or a child who has an accident and hurts themselves. It is not a bifurcation between absolute silence and totally undisciplined, there are shades of grey in between, and most people can tolerate and expect a certain amount of active behaviour and noise from children, there is a point where it becomes a ****-take, and that is the point where it becomes no-you-have-now-gone-too-far.

I'll say it again, it is BADLY BEHAVED children that are the problem, as are BADLY BEHAVED adults, or dogs that are not under proper control.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

As usual the strawman arguments come flying out. The issue is with BADLY BEHAVED children, not babies who cry because that is what they do, or a child who has an accident and hurts themselves. It is not a bifurcation between absolute silence and totally undisciplined, there are shades of grey in between, and most people can tolerate and expect a certain amount of active behaviour and noise from children, there is a point where it becomes a ****-take, and that is the point where it becomes no-you-have-now-gone-too-far.

I'll say it again, it is BADLY BEHAVED children that are the problem, as are BADLY BEHAVED adults, or dogs that are not under proper control.

Hmm. Well dogs on trains - bad idea (except guide dogs)

As someone rather nervous around dogs I would be very scared to sit down at my reserved seat and there be a springer spaniel sitting under the table! It isn't fair really!

 

[crehld]

What an interesting discussion. As a father who regularly travels by train with his 2.5 year old let me add a couple of thoughts.

Parenting is one aspect to this. My perception is most parents travelling with kids are very adept at attending to their children's needs while travelling. Other parents seems too engrossed in their smart phone to pay attention to their own children - so I agree that good parenting is key. Any child crying loudly and persistently clearly isn't getting their needs met and wants attention from their parents.

My strategy is to keep my daughter entertained. A packed lunch will keep her occupied for 20 minutes. A sticker book / magazine works well, as does colouring in or reading a story. Looking out of the window also works. And when this doesn't work there's the emergency iPad and headphones with downloaded episodes of Hey Duggee and Topsy and Tim on BBC iPlayer.

On board staff can really help out too. A pretend ticket printed out really goes a long way (though one Northern guard doing this got a bit of a shock when my daughter reached into his money pouch and pulled out about £50 while he was distracted printing off a pretend ticket). A helping hand with a bag or pushchair really does make things easier as well.

The fact is young children can get overexcited and can be a bit loud - it's no big deal and they usually calm down after a minute or two. I find pensioners shouting unnecessarily into their mobile phones, people listening to music without headphones (or those with headphones but the music turned up so loud they may as well not had bothered with them), and people having loud conversations about their love life or how high council tax is to be just as, if not more, disruptive. Yet because these people aren't children it is tolerated.

My overriding view is that if you find yourself unnecessarily offended or uncomfortable by the presence of my or any other child, and providing neither I nor my child is being unduly disruptive and have valid tickets / authority to travel for our journey then you are more than welcome to move to another seat in a different part of the train, or even alight at the next station and wait for the next train.

 

[crehld]

..., and really loud, annoying chattering such as "Daddy look! It's another train!!!!" yelled loudly every five minutes when one roars past our one.

Sorry for being so blunt, but isn't it a shame that enthusiasts get so worked up about children who happen share that same enthusiasm...

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

What an interesting discussion. As a father who regularly travels by train with his 2.5 year old let me add a couple of thoughts.

Parenting is one aspect to this. My perception is most parents travelling with kids are very adept at attending to their children's needs while travelling. Other parents seems too engrossed in their smart phone to pay attention to their own children - so I agree that good parenting is key. Any child crying loudly and persistently clearly isn't getting their needs met and wants attention from their parents.

My strategy is to keep my daughter entertained. A packed lunch will keep her occupied for 20 minutes. A sticker book / magazine works well, as does colouring in or reading a story. Looking out of the window also works. And when this doesn't work there's the emergency iPad and headphones with downloaded episodes of Hey Duggee and Topsy and Tim on BBC iPlayer.

My overriding view is that if you find yourself unnecessarily offended or uncomfortable by the presence of my or any other child, and providing neither I nor my child is being unduly disruptive and have valid tickets / authority to travel for our journey then you are more than welcome to move to another seat in a different part of the train, or even alight at the next station and wait for the next train.

Fun fact: I'm friends with the brother of the person who plays Tim in Topsy And Tim

Yes, good point about moving - if you have a Standard class ticket! 158s, 159s, 180s, 185s, 220s, 221s, 317s, 321s, 332s, 350s, 442s, 444s, 450s only have one first class coach per train - and what about 153s!

 

[Darandio]

Thank you. That's very nice of you, yes I have thanks! You seem to have taught me something too. If I have the pleasure of kids in my coach who are very loud, I will smile and think "Ah, bless, how lovely that young children enjoy train trips as much as I do!" and if they scream I will be sympathetic and think "I hope they feel better soon!"

All I would say is don't let your heart sink as per your opening post as soon as you see children board, often it will be fine.

I've certainly never had any issues in first class, often you'll find well to do types, brothers dressed in identical clothing who are going to visit 'grandpapa' in Perth. No bother whatsoever.

 

[TT-ONR-NRN]

Sorry for being so blunt, but isn't it a shame that enthusiasts get so worked up about children who happen share that same enthusiasm...

No it's fine, I've just admitted that on the forum!

 

[3141]

Hmm. Well dogs on trains - bad idea (except guide dogs)

As someone rather nervous around dogs I would be very scared to sit down at my reserved seat and there be a springer spaniel sitting under the table! It isn't fair really!

From what you've said about yourself, in the post I've quoted and earlier ones, it seems that you have a heightened sensitivity to certain things - noise, young children, dogs. But they are part of the world, which from your point of view may be unfortunate, and it's not going to change. The change will mainly have to come from you - which in some ways is what this thread has been about - and you will either have to find ways of adjusting to the presence of children, etc., or avoid, as far as you can, putting yourself in situations where they are likely to be.

As several others have said, children are likely to make some noise - different types at different stages of development - and sensible parents pay attention to their children and try to make sure they are occupied and well-behaved. Some don't, unfortunately.

It is possible to ask parents to control their children, or tell the children themselves not to do something if they are having an impact on passengers further down the carriage, but this does risk an unpleasant reaction, particularly from the sort of parents who most need to be told such things.

 

[roversfan2001]

The other day I was glared at by an old man for daring to sit in first. He probably thinks all teenagers are thugs; (wrongly)

I have had this *so many* times! Quite often when I'm out on my trips I'm wearing trackies and a Nike/Adidas branded jacket; which probably doesn't help certain people's attitudes towards me. It's really quite amusing when some snobby old man looks down at you (and yes it usually is snobby old men) as if to say "who are you and what do you think you're doing here?".

 

[Darandio]

I'm wearing trackies and a Nike/Adidas branded jacket; which probably doesn't help certain people's attitudes towards me.

The older generation don't normally have an affiliation with brands, only with beige.

My dad buys new clothing often, but I don't think he's bought anything 'different' for 30 years.

 

[roversfan2001]

The older generation don't normally have an affiliation with brands, only with beige.

My dad buys new clothing often, but I don't think he's bought anything 'different' for 30 years.

The point being that I do wear clothing similar to a typical 'chav' sometimes

 

[Segedunum]

The point being that I do wear clothing similar to a typical 'chav' sometimes [emoji38]

I normally dress fairly smartly and even two weeks ago I had an older woman giving me the evils in First Class on XC.

That said, she then proceeded to pretty much demand the contents of the complimentary refreshments offer!

Sent from my F3111 using Tapatalk