Yorkies can only envy us Lankies because we gave them everything they have, because we created the industrial revolution, your railways, your industry, your Sheffield steel, all down to us, so take a knee and bow to the might of the Red Rose.
You've got abbeys, cathedrals, a few hills, so have we, but we didn't have to split our county into sections just to claim bragging rights on size, now there is no such thing as Yorkshire, you don't exist anymore!
You have Tetley's, we have a proper beer, I give you Lancaster Bomber, to wash down our world famous Lancashire cheese, or maybe our pies, Eccles cake, black pudding, tripe, famous Yorkshire food recipes can be found on the back of a box of matches.
I also offer for your envy, the first team to do the league and cup double Preston North End or how about the most famous player in English football, Sir Tom Finney !
The list is endless, but if Yorkies don't bow in allegiance, we will dig up Excalibur from Martin mere, set loose the witches and launch a 5 day bombardment of Halifax with tripe and black pudding.
And when we take over, we will ban songs about bits of wasteland near Ilkley and help sheep stop feeling scared !