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PAH! You Lancastrians are budget Yorkies. When you think of a northerner, you think of a Yorkie. Even your Lancashire stereotype is a watered-down Yorkshireman.
We have the biggest county in the UK. We make fine puddings out of golden-brown batter, and you make puddings out of pig's blood. We're famous for our tea - Yorkshire Tea and Tetley - and our beer. We have the UK's biggest curry restaurant, the UK's biggest chip shop, the UK's oldest first-class cricket ground - and what do you have? A poncy bus station. Pah! A pig shed. We have railway stations like York and Harrogate that Lancashire haven't matched, and we have the world's biggest railway museum. We have abbeys at Bolton Abbey, Whitby, Kirkham, Jervaulx and Rievaulx, big heritage railways through the Dales and Moors, we have two national parks and 4 AONBs, the town chosen by Bram Stoker as the arrival point of Dracula onto British shores, we have Flamborough Head and its coastal cliffs, the York Minster, the Beverley Minster, the Dewsbury Minster, our rose is bigger than your rose, Scarborough's better than Blackpool and Yorkshire are better at cricket! You have Man Utd, but the last time York City went to Old Trafford, we won! We have Pen-y-Ghent, Ingleborough and Whernside, the Settle & Carlisle Line and the Penistone Line, we have films like The Full Monty and Brassed Off (while Lancashire has...?), we have farms in the middle of motorways and the sport of Rugby League, which we invented, we have Geoff Boycott and Fred Trueman, Thora Hird and Brian Blessed, Tom Courtenay, James Cook, Harold Wilson, Herbert Asquith, Guy Fawkes, Alan Bennett, the Brontës, Ted Hughes, J.B Priestley, Dame Judi Dench, the Chuckle Brothers, Michael Palin, Charles Laughton, Ben Kingsley, Sir Patrick Stewart, Tom Wilkinson, Vic Reeves & Bob Mortimer, Ernie Wise, the Arctic Monkeys, the Human League, Pulp, the Brownlees, Jessica Ennis-Hill, Brian Clough, Darren Gough, Len Hutton, Kevin Keegan, Danny Willett and Robinson Crusoe! We are God's Own County, and we'll take you on if we have to! The Kingdom of Jorvik will rise, and subdue all who question its power! Though we bear the white rose of peace, we will overpower any attempt to subjugate the spirit of Yorkshire! We cannot be broken, and wherever we are, in Sheffield, Doncaster, York or Leeds, Hull, Halifax, Harrogate or Richmond, Ripon, Scarborough, Bridlington and Selby, Settle or Thirsk or Bradford or Huddersfield or Wakefield or Rotherham or anywhere within our great county, we will continue to have our Yorkshire spirit, and it shall prove victorious, whatever the circumstances! I say that we raise our Pontefract liquorice aloft, and follow the path to glory like a massive stick of rhubarb! WE are the glory of the north, and we will defend that title to the limit, with the sword of Constantine I, until Lancashire bows to our power and wisdom and proclaims us BETTER THAN THEM! Because it doesn't matter what you face us with. Yorkshire will be victorious.
Mind you, you can have Middlesbrough. Though we're keeping the bridge.