How to deal with Green Peace canvassers

[TheSlash]

When ever i walk through Portsmouth city centre shopping district, there are always people trying to sign people up to charities, Unicef, Oxfam, Save the Whales, Save the North, Green Peace, NSPCC etc
Today was the turn of Green Peace. I made it clear from the approach i wasn't going to engage in conversation, but this bloke stepped into my path. As i was on my best behaviour, i resisted the urge to at least tell him to **** off. He thought was going to sign me up to Green Peace, so i thought i'd make it simple for him...
"I drive a Two and 'Alf litre Diesel Turbo. I go everywhere at flat out speed, but as the vehicle only has 90BHP for 3.5 tons, it generally involves pushing 4500rpm. I do at least a 100 miles a day, so it generally needs an 80 litre drink of diesel 5 times a fortnight. Do i seem like someone who wants to save the whales?"
Easy

 

[Beaker]

'Save the North'

Brilliant

 

[me123]

Ohh... I hate it when they do that. I swear one of them today was going to slide tackle me...

 

[spoony]

I just ignore them. Round here they knock on your door though begging for some cause or the other. As soon as Im home work gear comes off and the scruffy house gear goes on. I just say Im unemployed, that sharp shifts the blighters

Edit - 1st class passenger gettin

 

[mbonwick]

Big Issue is the one with us; all these Muslims trying to push them into the face of a **** off 15 year old (me)

"Go and shove your western-terrorism crap up your arse" That's all it is - saying Bush and B Liar and Brown are terrorists.

 

[BJMorley]

or advertising more charities hock:
Brandon

 

[Phoenix]

I had had two Christian Aid workers try to take the mick out of me.
I had my large tube which contained my map and they said "excuse me sir we are with the BTP can you show us the contents as they might be leathal"
I decided to be friendly and say "Im a Geology student and these would be my maps"
Then I got "Well we should arrest you for just being a student"
So I said "Wow you really have got me wanting to give money haven't you why Don't just f**k off get a proper life and guess what I HAVE A TRAIN TO CATCH"

Honestly I barely can take it when they are nicely bothering you for money let alone actually trying to annoy you.

 

[mrcheek]

The Big Issue sellers are fine in my home town. But the charity collectors, ****ing students in their coloured bibs with their clipboards are an absolute nuisance. I try ignoring them, but if they engage in conversation with a guy wearing dark glasses, listening to music, and walking quickly past them, then frankly theyre not being very polite, so any rudeness or abuse I give them is totally justifiable.

If they want to help a charity, why dont they get a proper ****ing job and donate some money?!?!?!?!?

 

[me123]

I personally don't mind them, but if you deliberately walk out of their way, I just wish they'd realise that you don't want to talk to them or have time to talk to them. I do give money from time to time, but at the moment time is getting further from time if you know what I mean.

 

[68]

the "excuse me sir we are with the BTP can you show us the contents as they might be leathal"

Nice to see the people wanting to do any good are committing one of the most serious crimes of dishonesty about. Impersonating a Police Officer is always good for when you are applying for a job.

When I have gone to Ashford they some times approach me and I avoid them like the plaque!


Well we could always speak a different language to what they are i.e. Bonjour.

 

[Broken Viking]

Hail All!
Personally, I tend to use one of three approaches for dealing with them...

1. Draw them into a long and involved conversation about something completely random and keep them off of other people's backs in the process...Only revealing that I'm on DHSS after about half an hour, and in no fit state to make a donation,
2. Speak to them only in German (Normally using plaid-Deutsch if I'm in the mood) and keep raising the tone and urgency of my voice, as if I was actually being accousted for something with no valid reason,
3. If I'm walking along (At my normal 8mph) and one of them tries to "catch" me, I usually call out a warning and make no change in heading. A lot of them do move out of the way in time, but I've sent a few of them flying before now...

Farewell... 8)
>> Death <<

 

[Doorslammer]

I believe Steve Martin had another fail-proof method. Urinate yourself and then be sick on your money.

 

[Broken Viking]

I believe Steve Martin had another fail-proof method. Urinate yourself and then be sick on your money.

Hmmm...Good approach, although not exactly pleasant for other passengers if ye are catching the bus home! hock: :?

Actually - I wonder what would happen if you managed to get a Greenpeace canvasser and a UNICEF canvasser trying to extract donations out of each other...They'd be there for months!

 

[Aureol]

Hmmm...Good approach, although not exactly pleasant for other passengers if ye are catching the bus home! hock: :?

Actually - I wonder what would happen if you managed to get a Greenpeace canvasser and a UNICEF canvasser trying to extract donations out of each other...They'd be there for months!

There's only one way to find out

 

[16CSVT2700]

Oh if only proper guns were legal in this country...

 

[Broken Viking]

http://www.lesjones.com/www/images/posts/14_inch_gun.gif
Oh if only proper guns were legal in this country...

I'd normally use my Longbow or a Crossbow, personally...But this is one of those few instances where even I would consider use of a gunpowder-fired weapon to be acceptable... hock:

 

[gingerheid]

"Can I have a minute of your time?"
"Yes, but not a penny of my money"

 

[Broken Viking]

"Can I have a minute of your time?"
"Yes, but not a penny of my money"

You know - That's just given me two ideas based on another interesting technique...

When a canvasser asks ye that question - "Can I have a minute of your time?" - Say that he can, but then draw out a pre-printed business card for some ficticious consutant Solicitor's office, and tell them that if they want your time it'll cost them £75.00 per hour, plus extra for letters, documents, signatures and telephone calls... 8)

Alternatively...Let them grab ye for about 3-5 minutes, then whip out the business card and tell him that he now owes ye £10.00 for your time, plus a £30.00 non-booked fee. Some really good results could be had with this one if ye are blessed enough to look like a brick s***house, and use an insistant tone of voice when mentioning payment...

 

[Tom B]

There's a chap who sits on Princes Street begging every day - has a sign saying "cold, penniless" etc. Must get a fortune from the tourists...

... then at 6pm you're passing by, and he stands up, gets out his phone and calls his wife to tell her he's on his way home, then gets on the 22 and puts his iPod on ...

 

[metrocammel]

There's a chap who sits on Princes Street begging every day - has a sign saying "cold, penniless" etc. Must get a fortune from the tourists...

... then at 6pm you're passing by, and he stands up, gets out his phone and calls his wife to tell her he's on his way home, then gets on the 22 and puts his iPod on ...

I watched a programme once about 'professional beggars' from abroad who came to England. There was one guy who flew from somewhere in Eastern Europe on a cheap flight to London, to beg for a day- and he made a very health sum from it. If you find the right spot in a tourist area - and look 'poor and unfortunate' enough, you've cracked it, and you'll be driving a Bentley in no time

 

[me123]

I don't mean to sound "hard", but I refuse to give money to beggars; if you do they'll stay on the streets because they can earn a lot of money. I do, however, buy "The Big Issue", mostly because I respect Big Issue Sellers - at least they're trying to turn their life around.

 

[68]

There's a chap who sits on Princes Street begging every day - has a sign saying "cold, penniless" etc. Must get a fortune from the tourists...

... then at 6pm you're passing by, and he stands up, gets out his phone and calls his wife to tell her he's on his way home, then gets on the 22 and puts his iPod on ...

That is low, he should be fined for begging.

 

[TheSlash]

Death, i like your thinking and i may have to pinch your idea!!

At this point i would like to crack a joke at the expense of Class 313 but i expect i'd be hounded to the ends of the earth by a certain moderator for going off topic

 

[Broken Viking]

Hail All!

Death, i like your thinking and i may have to pinch your idea!!

Feel free to do so mate! I'd be really interested to hear how ye got along with it! 8)

Actually - As a Railtrack p-way employee (IIRC) - Ye should be a fairly burly and hard-looking chap, if I'm right in making that assumption...In that case, the second trick could yield some fairly profitable results for ye, and hopefully not a charge of Affray! hock:8)

At this point i would like to crack a joke at the expense of Class 313 but i expect i'd be hounded to the ends of the earth by a certain moderator for going off topic

My board inbox has plenty of spare space for incoming messages, ye know...

Farewell...
>> Death <<

 

[TheSlash]

Actually - As a Railtrack p-way employee (IIRC) - Ye should be a fairly burly and hard-looking chap, if I'm right in making that assumption...In that case, the second trick could yield some fairly profitable results for ye, and hopefully not a charge of Affray! hock:8)

You flatter me. I actually deplore all kinds of physical violence, especially alcohol fuelled, i was thinking of joining the monestary and devoting my life to the understanding of why Birds' sing

 

[Coxster]

You flatter me. I actually deplore all kinds of physical violence, especially alcohol fuelled, i was thinking of joining the monestary and devoting my life to the understanding of why Birds' sing

That's the biggest load of bull I've ever read

 

[rail-britain]

Non-verbal communication normally works wonders (with street based charity workers in general)
I just shake my head, continue to walk, and treat them as any other pedestrian
If they ask me anything, I suggest they walk at my pace, which some of them do!
I then advise them that I will not be giving out any personal information in the street, including bank details, and that is usually enough to see them off

I once had one walk with me all the way from Gordon Street, along Buchanan Street, to West George Street
Had it been anyone else, I'd probably report them for begging!

 

[Broken Viking]

Had it been anyone else, I'd probably report them for begging!

Actually...Thinking about it; That's effectively what they're doing when they canvass people for donations - Irrespective of whether or not the beneficiary is a "charity" or not. Remember also that a lot of these so-called "volunteers" actually get a commission on every signature that they obtain (Why else do ye think they are so persistant? :mad so they are about as close to being a "volunteer" as I am to being a Catholic!

Ye know...Next time I get one of them being persistant with me, I may well execute a citizens arrest and have them charged under the Vagrancy Act 1824CE... hock:8)

Farewell...
>> Death <<

 

[rail-britain]

Some of them look like vagrants too, making the Big Issue sellers look upper class in some cases!
I don't know how this applies in England and Wales, but here in Scotland you need to have a street traders licence, makes me wonder if they have them as I've only ever seen them carry their own ID, nothing from the local authority which should also be visible
Unless of course because they are asking for your bank details on the street, then a street traders licence is not required, but equally asking for bank details in the street is just WRONG

 

[yorkie]

One guy asked if I'd finished with my Travelcard at King's Cross. I said "yes", got it out my pocket and ripped it up