Railway Myths (2013)

[Essexman]

i) British Rail was rubbish
ii) British Rail was wonderful

 

[duncanp]

MYTH : On the London Underground Victoria Line at Finsbury Park, the drivers always leave plenty of time for people transferring from the Piccadilly Line, and never slam the doors in people's faces as they are running across the platform

 

[D365]

i) British Rail was rubbish
ii) British Rail was wonderful

iii) British Rail belonged to me

So what was British Rail?

 

[BestWestern]

Anybody who suggests that trained railway staff generally have a more informed idea of how the railway works than an average passenger, by obvious neccessity, is clearly a bigot who thinks that all passengers are stupid.

Passengers who self-evacuate from a train are never in any real danger because they all know exactly where everything is and how it all works, and any rail emloyee who suggests that they are lucky not to be killed is a passenger-hating bigot as above.

 

[MK Tom]

Anybody who suggests that trained railway staff generally have a more informed idea of how the railway works than an average passenger, by obvious neccessity, is clearly a biggot who thinks that all passengers are stupid.

Passengers who self-evacuate from a train are never in any real danger because they all know exactly where everything is and how it all works, and any rail emloyee who suggests that they are lucky not to be killed is a passenger-hating biggot as above.

Myth # 472,121: 'bigot' is spelt 'biggot'.

 

[Nym]

MYTH : On the London Underground Victoria Line at Finsbury Park, the drivers always leave plenty of time for people transferring from the Piccadilly Line, and never slam the doors in people's faces as they are running across the platform

Myth;

Needing to wait an extra two minutes to board a victoria line train that is approaching in the tunnel behind the one you couldn't board is a major tradgedy...

(PS: Connections aren't held for a reason...)

 

[SS4]

iii) British Rail belonged to me

So what was British Rail?

It's your company, you ought to know

 

[Matt Taylor]

An incoherent rant to a TOC on their Twitter feed represents a legitimate complaint.

 

[Oswyntail]

Anybody who suggests that trained railway staff generally have a more informed idea of how the railway works than an average passenger, by obvious neccessity, is clearly a biggot who thinks that all passengers are stupid....

Myth: "Trained railway staff" generally have a more informed idea of every aspect of how the railways work than non-railway staff with relevant experience.

 

[317666]

Myth 472125: Extra coaches to extend overcrowded trains can simply be bought off the shelf, especially if bought from Bombardier's vast emporium at Litchurch Lane.

 

[trainophile]

If a guard tells a passenger to take their feet off the seats, he means "only until I'm out of your sight".

On a train with a trolley service, it's perfectly sensible to leave your luggage/legs/arms/dog sticking out into the aisle, then go to sleep.

Everyone really wants to hear you ranting on your phone about the cr@p day you've had/the row with your partner/the last 100 things someone else said to you. Everyone really wants to hear your choice of music because ear/headphones are too much trouble. Everyone wants to hear the tinny hissing and booming from your cheap and nasty earphones. Everyone wants to know that your child needs a wee but "will just have to wait".

 

[quarella]

You are entitled to a taxi costing many times the value of your ticket because you missed the multiple announcements due to being buried under headphones and didn't think it odd that the other 40 people in the carriage got off.

 

[Bald Rick]

Myth #178

In the time immediately following a train coming to a stand at a booked station call, the act of depressing the 'door open' button several times in quick succession will cause a signal to be displayed to the driver / conductor such that he/she will release the doors more quickly than would otherwise have been the case. (Exception: electrostars, where it has the opposite effect).

 

[Crossover]

Myth 131: Anyone with a slight interest in railways is a 'geek'

Myth 131a: Anyone who works on the railways is a train enthusiast - if only!

Muth 131b: Anyone with any interest in the railways in a "trainspotter" or "spotter"

Myth # 4,232,124: 'Parkway' means 'not actually in this place'.

Myth 4,323,124a: All stations with "Airport" in the title are less than 0.5 mile away from an airport and don't require a bus/taxi/UFO to get to...

 

[Bishopstone]

Myth:

The First Class fare from A to B, cost £50, with no catering, is poor value.

The First Class fare from A to B, cost £80, with 'free' coffee, a small can of beer, a sandwich and a micro-cake is a really good deal.

 

[Essexman]

Every railway passenger is a commuter

 

[MK Tom]

Myth no. 352,131: Station announcements are too short and don't give enough information.

Myth no. 352,133: Birmingham New Street cannot be abbreviated to 'BNS' because everyone will actually think you're talking about Barnes.

Myth no. 352,134: Crewe is the largest and most important city between London and Scotland.

Myth no. 352,138: First Group are actually called First Plus, First Direct, First Choice or the name of another insurance/travel/car/finance company with 'First' in its name.

 

[BestWestern]

Myth # 472,121: 'bigot' is spelt 'biggot'.

Oops... :-/

Well I'm staff and I said so, so it must be true

 

[asylumxl]

Well I'm staff and I said so, so it must be true

The biggest myth in this entire thread.

 

[island]

Myth 139: there are no toilets anywhere on any London Underground station.

 

[TheEdge]

Myth #2-4-6-8 Motorway: Your journey is the single most important journey being undertaken and your needs are the most important and must be catered to regardless of the detriment to anyone else.

 

[stanley T]

Myth zzz: Only commuters, rich businessmen, Michael Portillo and nerdy trainspotters use trains, ordinary people always drive, and the poor use buses.

Myth zzz+1: a largely British internet forum is full of happy smiley people, not grumpy whingers disguised as comedians.

 

[oliMw]

Myth number 3z + 2: people never become ruder when there are delays :-x

 

[Domh245]

Myth: Chivalry is still alive! People will give up their seats to anyone more needy of them at the first opportunity, they are respectful of other people with regards to space, smell etc, and people will still queue in an orderly fashion at a station when boarding a train

 

[TheEdge]

Myth 2P15: Prams can be folded.

 

[island]

Myth 140: Clapham station is in South London.

 

[sd0733]

Myth: loudly saying a place name and making the tone slightly higher at the end is just as good as actually asking is this the train to xxx place!

 

[tsr]

Myth: An announcement at a level of 1 decibel featuring the word "Frant" and nothing else is perfectly sufficient as an indication of arrival at Frant Station.

 

[GatwickDepress]

Myth 221b Baker Street: London Overground is not constricted by the NRCoC and Routeing Guide, since they're part of TfL, not NR. Can't you see the roundels? Honestly.

Myth 5A03: St Pancras International is a railway station with a few retail outlets tacked on. (It always feels like the other way round to me. )

 

[TheEdge]

Myth 1X01: All conductors are mindreaders. Simply ask for a return, the conductor can use their powers of clairvoyance to work out where you got on, to which station you are going, when you are returning and any route specific requirements. Waving a £10 silently at a conductor will also yield similar results.