Female Railfans (and why dating is difficult)

[90019]

I presume gay people have a great advantage in that they find it much easier to find people with the same interests.

You'd be surprised.

 

[Stephen55a1960]

Had a look on one or two of them, not really found them helpful. Even looked on a niche interest one, not railways, wasn't overly impressed. I see plenty of girls about who look like my type but you can't really just go on looks! Don't get in any situations to actually meet them either. Working on the railway doesn't help, all I work with is men!

I have done that (looked at a niche site also not railway related - football if you want to know) and likewise not impressed.

 

[radamfi]

I know of two enthusiasts who have met their (now) wives throught internet dating sites - so it clearly works for some people. Even back in the 1980s, 'Dateline' used to advertise in Rail Enthusiast magazine.

Was that because Dateline used to think that rail enthusiasts were particularly likely to be single and find it difficult to meet partners in the 'real world'?

 

[newbie babs]

Being ill in the past year has taught me to enjoy what you like to do and try something new once in a while. Who would have thought I would go back to watching Rally cars again let alone involving myself in a rally event.

2013 is looking good, I don`t care which men or women think I am nuts (I probably am)I love sitting watching trains and how stressed people get at train station. I love investigating a train route or a stations history.

I might not have answered much on here recently, due to not knowing enough on the subject or the fact sometimes what I want to say seems silly because most of you know more than I could ever try to know but I have learnt to enjoy the bits I do know and the thirst for learning more is back so "just enjoy" your hobbies.

 

[Clip]

Im not so much a heavy enthusiast as some of you are on here but I do enjoy trains and riding on them wherever I go around the world. Luckily the missus puts up with this and she does enjoy the odd tour here and there too.


Oh and be wary of Ok Cupid - Me mate who uses it frequently says its great for an easy lay and that but a lot of the women he has dated on there turn out to be mentals after the 2nd or 3rd date you have been warned

 

[Techniquest]

Got to be honest, after the rather interesting conversation I've had with a good friend tonight, the resulting string of thoughts has got me tempted to try internet dating sites. Despite the risks involved, there comes a time when something has to be done!

 

[Clip]

Go for it. Dont worry and just enojy yourself the first few times around on the free sites like above and plentyoffish but I reckon your best bet to get someone properly suited to you online is probably one of the paid ones.

Or try speed dating!

 

[Lrd]

Got to be honest, after the rather interesting conversation I've had with a good friend tonight, the resulting string of thoughts has got me tempted to try internet dating sites. Despite the risks involved, there comes a time when something has to be done!

One of my best mates met his current misses on one, they've just got a flat together and are pretty perfect for each other.

 

[Techniquest]

Funky Might well look into it, but I just don't have the nerve to sign up in case any of my friends found out!

 

[Clip]

Funky Might well look into it, but I just don't have the nerve to sign up in case any of my friends found out!

They would only find out if you told them or they were on there also. In this day and age its nothing to get embarrased about imo.

 

[Butts]

Funky Might well look into it, but I just don't have the nerve to sign up in case any of my friends found out!

Would they take the pi*s ?

 

[Ivo]

How has this thread turned into a Dating Advice thread...?

 

[Butts]

How has this thread turned into a Dating Advice thread...?

Looks that way , I'm waiting for the adds to start reflecting it !!!

 

[Ivo]

OK - time for me to own up. Part of the reason I started this thread is that I kind of like the girl I mentioned in Post #1. And assuming nothing goes wrong (like someone dying upstairs last night >., today is "Judgment Day". I just know I'm going to fluff it

Looks that way , I'm waiting for the adds to start reflecting it !!!

Anything - OK, almost anything - has to be better than those darned Unison adverts I keep getting

 

[michael769]

I just know I'm going to fluff it

You won't really - if she is interested she'll say yes no matter how badly you ask. Girls aren't that fussy really (luckily for us).

 

[Butts]

You won't really - if she is interested she'll say yes no matter how badly you ask. Girls aren't that fussy really (luckily for us).

Especially after you've paid the fee

 

[Ivo]

Well, I managed it, and...

...she doesn't like the idea of dating a non-Christian, because she tried it once before and it didn't work.

At least I can say I tried, which is better than I've ever done (alone at least) before now, and we're still friends. And that is pretty much the best and least damaging reason she could have given me.

Anyway, back to the thread...

 

[Lrd]

Well, I managed it, and...

...she doesn't like the idea of dating a non-Christian, because she tried it once before and it didn't work.

At least I can say I tried, which is better than I've ever done (alone at least) before now, and we're still friends. And that is pretty much the best and least damaging reason she could have given me.

Anyway, back to the thread...

Well done, shame the result wasn't the one you hoped for. Don't give up

 

[Techniquest]

How has this thread turned into a Dating Advice thread...?

Well some of us could do with the advice, and it seems to me a highly appropriate side-topic to the original query. Let's face it, we're not all highly confident people, if that was the case we'd not be talking about it and getting on with the task at hand in the clubs or whatever!

Interestingly enough, the good friend I mentioned a good few posts back has got interested in joining me for a day on the trains. Didn't seem so keen on a WMDR trip, so we're doing the Valleys instead. For some weird reason she wants to go to Merthyr Tydfil, so looks like 5th December will be a bash with a difference!
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

Well, I managed it, and...

...she doesn't like the idea of dating a non-Christian, because she tried it once before and it didn't work.

At least I can say I tried, which is better than I've ever done (alone at least) before now, and we're still friends. And that is pretty much the best and least damaging reason she could have given me.

Anyway, back to the thread...

Gutted for you Ivo, you've done better than I've managed in a long time. You've tried, and at least you know. It won't eat you up inside wondering if she feels that way too now.

Just don't lose hope now, after all if it's meant to be it'll happen. After the conversation I had last night, I came to that conclusion. Everyone's perfect match is out there somewhere!

 

[Nym]

How has this thread turned into a Dating Advice thread...?

You complaining about being single?

 

[Techniquest]

Would they take the pi*s ?

Knowing my crew, most of them probably would. I know two of them certainly wouldn't to my face, one of them I know wouldn't as I told them yesterday I was considering it and they were most supportive. The other of the two, I'm not so sure but they've always been good to me so I doubt they would. Mind you, they're also two of my closest friends in the world so I'd hope they wouldn't take the mickey!

 

[Yew]

I don't tend to blurt out what I like in that sense - it's usually "travelling".

Aha, I dont like trains, I like visiting cities which is sort of true I do like visiting cities, especially if they involve a long stretch of mainline running

i've found that at uni, helping people find a cheaper and more comfortable way of getting back home is a useful technique

 

[Butts]

Well, I managed it, and...

...she doesn't like the idea of dating a non-Christian, because she tried it once before and it didn't work.

At least I can say I tried, which is better than I've ever done (alone at least) before now, and we're still friends. And that is pretty much the best and least damaging reason she could have given me.

Anyway, back to the thread...

I am sorry to hear about this - could you not have tried to become a christian if it was so important to her ? and she was important to you.

 

[Lrd]

For some weird reason she wants to go to Merthyr Tydfil, so looks like 5th December will be a bash with a difference!

You going to join the metre high club?

 

[Ivo]

You complaining about being single?

You know very well I'm not I've now managed seven-eighths of the timescale for my New Year's Resolution* and I'm not blowing it now! Especially on the back of my best "success" - if success is the right word - ever (i.e. actually asking)!

* For those who don't know - back in January I vowed to go through all of 2012 without complaining about being single in public. It was first mentioned on this forum (I forget why), but the thread it was in was deleted a few days later.

I am sorry to hear about this - could you not have tried to become a christian if it was so important to her ? and she was important to you.

Come on, that's about as likely as you becoming a Hibs fan! I'm too deeply engrossed in all the science stuff for Christianity to register as a genuine possibility in my mind. There is no way I could suddenly change my beliefs just for the sake of a girl - especially considering she already knew that I have no belief in God etc, given I basically blurted it to her last week...

You going to join the metre high club?

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this

This thread does bring back some rather insane memories.

 

[Metroland]

Personally, I've come across the decision that it's either find a new socially acceptable hobby (drinking and clubbing is one I'm getting into) or be prepared for a life of no relationships of any sort...

Nowt to do with it, a friend of mine who likes railways, although definitely not a hardcore spotter, has women queuing round the block. I've known him to have several different women friends in a week. Rod Stewart, a well known enthusiast, also doesn't have any issues attracting the ladies...

Spotter types that stand on the end of platforms looking like freaks, have hygiene issues and 'go on about trains' all the time clearly will have issues and give us all a bad name.

I don't know your circumstances and won't speculate, but it's nothing to do with hobbies.

Any hobby can be considered dull to another person if that's all one person goes on about. And I have to admit, some enthusiasts don't seem to be able to talk about anything else, and it's really not attractive to other people outside the railway circle whether they be friends or lovers. It never fails to amaze me some enthusiasts even want to attract females that would be prepared to get some mileage up the Bolton line, or do an overnight at Carlisle jotting down 67 numbers! Great if it happens, but unlikely!

 

[Ivo]

It never fails to amaze me some enthusiasts even want to attract females that would be prepared to get some mileage up the Bolton line, or do an overnight at Carlisle jotting down 67 numbers! Great if it happens, but unlikely!

I guess this is the ultimate problem for some railfans. It's quite an exclusive hobby; you either "get" it or you don't. And even if you do, the level to which you "get" it can vary substantially from person to person - there is a decisive difference between the girl who has unknowingly become the de facto subject of this thread knowing the difference between (and class numbers of) a 150 and a 158 and someone who is actually the kind of person to enjoy no situation in life other than the sight of something like an HST.

This is why I would say that the railways are a hobby that need to be enjoyed in a means that keeps said hobby in check, and in sync with other things. Speaking personally, I know a lot of girls who appreciate Creative Writing (helped of course by being at a University that offers it as a Degree) but that isn't of much use to pretty much anyone else on here is it? But how easily - and how willingly - can one develop an interest just for the sake of love?

 

[WelshBluebird]

Well, I managed it, and...

...she doesn't like the idea of dating a non-Christian, because she tried it once before and it didn't work.

At least I can say I tried, which is better than I've ever done (alone at least) before now, and we're still friends. And that is pretty much the best and least damaging reason she could have given me.

Anyway, back to the thread...

Better than I'm doing with the other species at the moment anyway, so well done! Even if it isn't the answer you wanted.

On the topic of dating, I've kind of given up thinking that I will find anyone who shares some of my nerdier hobbies (railways, video games, computers). Infact, at the moment I have almost given up thinking I will find anyone full stop, but that's mainly cos I'm still not really come to terms with me and my ex finishing.
Enough about me complaining anyway. I may have to make a similar new years resolution to Ivo!

 

[Techniquest]

Aha, I dont like trains, I like visiting cities which is sort of true I do like visiting cities, especially if they involve a long stretch of mainline running

i've found that at uni, helping people find a cheaper and more comfortable way of getting back home is a useful technique

Ahh, I canna do that as almost of my friends are on Facebook and kinda noticed me talking about trains and planes. Then of course it got out at work, and now everyone knows about it...

However, I've also found a lot of people find my knowledge of railways useful for getting about!
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

You going to join the metre high club?

There's two ways to answer this, I'm going to go with the first one:

As I've got Gangnam Style on for the umpteenth time this morning (would you believe me if I told you I'd never heard it until Tuesday?), there's only one way I can reply...

Ehhhhhhh sexy lady!



The other way to answer your query is not deemed suitable for public viewing
--- old post above --- --- new post below ---

Nowt to do with it, a friend of mine who likes railways, although definitely not a hardcore spotter, has women queuing round the block. I've known him to have several different women friends in a week. Rod Stewart, a well known enthusiast, also doesn't have any issues attracting the ladies...

So well known I didn't know he was!

Bleedin' nora, that is quite a surprise. Obviously he's got his normal life and his railway life separate!

Spotter types that stand on the end of platforms looking like freaks, have hygiene issues and 'go on about trains' all the time clearly will have issues and give us all a bad name.

I don't know your circumstances and won't speculate, but it's nothing to do with hobbies.

Any hobby can be considered dull to another person if that's all one person goes on about. And I have to admit, some enthusiasts don't seem to be able to talk about anything else, and it's really not attractive to other people outside the railway circle whether they be friends or lovers. It never fails to amaze me some enthusiasts even want to attract females that would be prepared to get some mileage up the Bolton line, or do an overnight at Carlisle jotting down 67 numbers! Great if it happens, but unlikely!

Well yeah, I've seen a lot of people who do give the scene a bad name. Not that I'm innocent from being on a train without having showered after a night on Carlisle station or indeed other places. Quite, I've left work at 02-summut in the morning and gone straight out on the bash for the entire day more times than I care to remember. That was when I lived in Swansea mind, and back in the days I was right royally hardcore on my spotting. The fact I've not set foot on a railway station yet alone a train (come to think of it I've not even seen a train in that time) since 29th October should tell you that I've outgrown that. Back in my hardcore days, I'd be disgusted by that!

Fortunately I have other interests these days, one of which being socialising at a normal level so not so bad for me nowadays. Learned a fair ol' time ago not to go on about the scene to people into it or not, that was an interesting life experience...

 

[Ivo]

The other way to answer your query is not deemed suitable for public viewing

Not something you see post-watershed every day

Fortunately I have other interests these days

Like Solos?

No, seriously, I don't know what's come over me - maybe a bit of euphoria given the (usually depressing) circumstances. Perhaps I should retire for the night.