Small nerdy pleasures on the railways

[thefab444]

Most recorded PA systems have at least two recordings of each station, a middle of sentence and end of sentence variation. Some also have a start of sentence variation as well.

Kidsgrove has a TTS PA system; it's "interesting" to say the least. The day TTS takes over automated PA throughout the UK is the day I lose interest though.

 

[Aictos]

I grew up on the Chiltern lines in the '90s and used to love seeing all the NSE-branded trains and station signs where hardly anywhere else in the country used to have them. ISTR they were only phased out when I moved away from the area in 2005 but even then there were a few 'Car stop' signs that weren't on the platform that they couldn't cover up the NSE branding on!

I love these clocks: http://www.railforums.co.uk/picture.php?albumid=57&pictureid=719 (unfortunately this one has been changed quite a lot by a certain TOC), but I'm sure if you lived in South East England in the 1990s, you'll know what I'm on about when I say they have a special meaning! I particularly enjoyed trying to work out what the time was, as more often than not they were faulty, and listening to the clunking sound on an otherwise silent station as the time changed.

There's on my station but only on Platform 1, it's not bad but you can only view it when there's nothing in Platforms 1 or 2 as the view gets blocked by the trains.

 

[mumrar]

Further to my post about XC fleet behaviour, today I'm working a double 170 to Nottingham (1D00) formed of 170s 105&104. The empty stock to form it had one other unit - 170106!
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And they're still at it. I'm on the 16.45 New St to Nottingham and back and I have 170521&522 now. Oh the excitement of working for XC hey?

 

[EM2]

The automated announcements at KXSP always make me laugh.
They mention Strat.Ford and Playstow...

 

[CCF23]

The automated announcements at KXSP always make me laugh.
They mention Strat.Ford and Playstow...

On the C stock the list of things to change for goes on forever and at the end "change here for the royal national institute for blind people"

 

[almark]

Standing at KX when the gates are opened and watching everybody charge down the platform like school kids,then 10 minutes later stroll down and find a coach to myself!

 

[mrcheek]

I finally thought of one!

My home station Weston-super-Mare has two platforms. The main one is platform 2, and the quieter platform opposite is platform 1. There are signs with the numbers on, but its not the best bit of signage to be honest.

As a result, lots of people arrive at the station assuming that the main platform is going to be platform one, and the quiet one over the other side should be platform 2. The number of irregular travellers who end up on the wrong side is therefore quite high. And I always laugh at them. I suppose I shouldnt really.

 

[34002salisbury]

my first post
anyway when i'm chatting to my friends from rwts i joke by saying we are sorry to annouce that (names)'s train service has been delayed by approximatley forever this is due to... please stand away from the edge of platform 1,2,3,4,5&6 (name)'s train is flying

 

[Waddon]

If you want to hear a really ridiculous announcement, go to Stratford Station (not the high speed one, the other one) and listen out for this automated announcement (which I assume is for the Bus to Stratford International, but only because it says 'Southeastern').

I heard it today and it goes like this: (p.s. where I say 'Blank' please just imagine two seconds of total silence)

'The Bus now standing at platform 'Blank' is the 14.02 Southeastern service to 'Blank'. Calling at 'Blank' only'

Apart from the obvious issues of buses standing at platforms, this has got to be the most useless announcement ever. Someone obviously went to the trouble of setting up this message, and then went home early without seeing if it worked...

 

[Lampshade]

They might have drafted in a few Pacers :P

 

[Drsatan]

They might have drafted in a few Pacers :P

Dunno which would have been more comfortable though: a pacer or a coach!

 

[Royston Vasey]

Standing at Stevenage (something I rarely do these days) and savouring the lingering diesel fumes after an HST or 180 has sped through at line speed. Something the MTU refits have done little to deaden!

 

[poshbakerloo]

I remember when I was about 6...and travelling on the tube wit my mum, I used to think Bakerloo was a place

 

[thefab444]

When ever I'm waiting at Stockport station they announce trains that stop at Liverpool South Parkway I always laugh to myself a lil bit at the woman's voice suddenly going deeper. lol

Is this definately at Stockport, and not Manchester Piccadilly? The shouting of "Liverpool South Parkway" sounds very much like the automated system at Manchester Piccadilly, rather than Stockport which is done by real humans - unless they've fitted an automated system recently?
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Apart from the obvious issues of buses standing at platforms, this has got to be the most useless announcement ever. Someone obviously went to the trouble of setting up this message, and then went home early without seeing if it worked...

I don't think it was set up specially, the "Sarah" system is known to announce any train or bus that it can get its hands on, regardless of whether it has the right files or not!

 

[Broken Viking]

For the most part, my own "nerdy pleasure" normally extends to observing the speed limits posted at the side of the line whilst travelling, then intensely frothing in my mind over how Netwok Rail have so grossly understated the safe speed limit for that section of line! hock:

A common example whenever I'm heading out of London towards Basingstoke, and seeing the "90" board as we leave Clapham Jct on the down main...

Line speed limit of only 90mph...WTF? I know that Wimbledon Jct is only a couple of miles south of here, but even a 458 would remain safely upright between here and Basingstoke Yard at a half-reasonable 550mph... :roll:

hock:

 

[mumrar]

On a similar note, Death, there's a dead straight section of track near Cambridge which is 60mph, but due to the soil underlying, the track shifts further and quicker than other areas of the network.

 

[Vulcan]

Sitting on the left hand side of the train approaching the interchange, seeing the platform indicator as we pass and then standing at the correct door every time while everyone else guesses and gets it wrong.

 

[142094]

Ah yes, I do like doing that, but in some cases it can be self explanatory. Take York to Scarborough from Leeds or Manchester, it can only be two platforms but it has always been platform 5, yet people still stand on the right hand side.

 

[Vulcan]

Better then watching people standing at the wrong door, I once saw a woman waiting at the window next to the door on a 185 thinking it was a door. (She wasn't blind or disabled in any way, just distracted by her mobile phone conversation)

 

[142094]

Silly woman! Been a few times I've seen people running for a 185 at Manchester who have tried to get on at the first door possible - which unfortunately for them is the guard's door.

 

[Vulcan]

This may seem a bit mean, and please don't all hate me for this, but am I the only person who finds it a bit funny in a sick and twisted way when people run for the train i'm sat on and just miss it? Even better if they get to the train just as the guard has given the right away to the driver but the train is still stood still. They're stood there franticly pressing the button but its too late.
Of course its not funny when it is me missing the train. :cry:
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nor is it funny if its a mother with child, anyone with a child, its raining and there no shelter, the elderly, or anyone really apart from chavs individual or in a gang. Then its the funniest thing in the world!

 

[jon0844]

I couldn't help but laugh when a middle aged man strolled all casually up to my Northern Line tube train as the hustle alarm was going - and as they started to close he stepped on - and promptly got his whole arm trapped in the door.

I saw the whole thing in near slow-motion and couldn't believe how casual he was. No attempt to run, no care in the world. Obviously the doors opened and he managed to get on - but I bet he had a nasty bruise the next day!

 

[poshbakerloo]

Is this definately at Stockport, and not Manchester Piccadilly? The shouting of "Liverpool South Parkway" sounds very much like the automated system at Manchester Piccadilly, rather than Stockport which is done by real humans - unless they've fitted an automated system recently?

I think it is actually at Manchester, and also Sheffield...

Ooh and something else which makes me laugh...

Is when I hear someone asking "Is this train going to Adlington?" (Adlington is a small Cheshire station) And I'm just thinking to myself "Ok, so you got the correct platform, but its obviously the next train as that is a Class 390!!! and they don't stop at Adlington!!!!!" lol

 

[317666]

Dusty seats anyone?