silly complaints

[hungover]

I stumbled across this complaint, the response tickled me, so i thought that i would share it.

I would like to complain about the recent cancellation of my morning train on behalf of myself, 12 girls from another school and 5 girls who go to my school.

Every day I used to catch the 7.48 to Hammersmith from Ealing Broadway, but when I arrived back from my Christmas break I found that it had been cancelled. I was not only late for school on that day, but I now have to catch the 7.40 train just to be on time. This results in me losing 8 minutes of sleep, and as I require 8 hours of sleep per night, I have to wake up 8 minutes earlier, so I have to go to bed 8 minutes earlier so I can't finish watching my TV programme before going to bed which leads to an unsatisfactory feeling and incompleteness in my life, ad well as hindering my cerebral development in speech, English and social skills (some of the many benefits of watching TV. It is therefore essential that TFL takes some action to compensate me and my friends or reinstates our morning train.

Please can you respond with details of the action to be taken as soon as possible.
Thank you.

------------------------------------------------------------

Our ref: 1010138235
Date: 27.01.2012
Dear XXXXXXXXXX
Thank you for your feedback form about the District line timetable being changed.

I'm sorry to hear this has had such an affect upon your journey and your life.

Please look at this as a vital learning experience getting you prepared for life as a commuter in London. Not only will you need to make sudden amendments to your routine when you leave school and start work, but you will also need to get up earlier and adjust to the lifestyle changes required to go out and earn your money so you can enjoy your life when you're not at work.

There is no need to thank us for this free life lesson, just enjoy the experience.

We have altered the timetable to improve services on the line as a whole. It is a complex scheduling task, and minor tweaks made in certain places has provided a better, more reliable, and improved service on the line as a whole.

Thanks for contacting us, I hope I have helped to clarify the situation.

Please contact me again if you need any help in the future.

Yours sincerely,
Jacqueline Shanahan

Customer Service Advisor
Customer Service Centre

Source:

https://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/157037/response/391797/attach/3/FOI 0132 1314 Kell.pdf

 

[Deerfold]

It made me cringe - so many TfL responses seem to contain mistakes.

In this case, the word "affect", instead of "effect".

 

[Tim R-T-C]

Wow, what will happen if she moves outside London to somewhere with 2TPH frequency!

 

[AndrewE]

Love it - and Deerfold ought to just accept that not everyone has a perfect grammatical command of English, & especially in London! Also isn't it possible that both writers have a well-developed sense of humour? I hope she (or both) is/are writing for radio or TV before too long...

Unfortunately it's only too true that if the complainant lived anywhere else in the country she would be grateful for anything like the density of lines and frequency of service available to her...
A

 

[southern442]

As someone who lives outside of London and goes to school who's nearest station receives 4tph at most during the day, and 2 or 1tph for the rest of the day, I would gladly have as much of a choice of trains to school as that person. My train is at 6.58. I also have to get a further 2 trains and a bus after this, and the connections are pretty damn tight. But I don't really complain about it, mainly because as a train enthusiast I like the journey

 

[Deerfold]

Love it - and Deerfold ought to just accept that not everyone has a perfect grammatical command of English, & especially in London! Also isn't it possible that both writers have a well-developed sense of humour? I hope she (or both) is/are writing for radio or TV before too long...

Unfortunately it's only too true that if the complainant lived anywhere else in the country she would be grateful for anything like the density of lines and frequency of service available to her...
A

Someone who doesn't have a good command of English really shouldn't be writing customer service letters. In any case, this isn't grammar, it's using the wrong word.

 

[greatkingrat]

See part 2 of the complaint

I did make sudden amendments to my routine, and despite the negative effect it has on my life, am dealing with this experience. Even so, despite the fact that its *possible* for me to change my schedule, it is *inconvenient* which is why I wrote the complaint in the first place. I would also like to add that I find your tone very patronising and will be getting in touch with your supervisor. Also, "enjoy the experience"? No one I know enjoys their morning commute, and "There is no need to thank us for this free life lesson"-seriously?!?!? So, you want me to thank you for cancelling my train, making it really hard to complain and then sending me this sarcastic, condescending email? I feel that this is unreasonable and unfair, for the reasons stated above and await your reply.

=================

Thank you for your further email.
I'm sorry you took offence, this was not intended.
In respect to your original issue, the timetable was changed, as I mentioned in the last paragraoh, to benefit the users of the line as a whole. This has resulted in minor timetable changes throughout. However I have passed your feedback on to the timetabling team for their consideration.
Please let me know if I can assist you further.
Yours sincerely,
Jacqueline Shanahan
Customer Service Advisor
Customer Service Centre

 

[Bletchleyite]

paragraoh

If that's verbatim, that makes TfL look terrible. Incredibly lazy. Does their e-mail system not have a spell checker?

 

[TheNewNo2]

Someone who doesn't have a good command of English really shouldn't be writing customer service letters. In any case, this isn't grammar, it's using the wrong word.

If that's verbatim, that makes TfL look terrible. Incredibly lazy. Does their e-mail system not have a spell checker?

As an LU employee, I am consistently frustrated by my colleagues' inability to write a coherent sentence.

 

[duncanp]

I wouldn't be surprised if this complaint is a wind up.

Someone is complaining to TfL about losing 8 minutes of sleep, or the fact that they have to miss a TV programme because they have to go to bed 8 minutes earlier??

Hindering your cerebral development, English and social skills because you miss 8 minutes of TV????

I wonder what "vital" programme she is missing? Eastenders?? I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here??? The Jeremy Kyle Show???

I have never heard such a complete and utter load of codswallop.

Of course it is inconvenient for some people when any public transport timetable changes, but there are always winners and losers.

And one other thing, TfL's journey planner says there is a direct District Line train from Ealing Broadway to Hammersmith at 07:43, so in fact the poor little darling only has to get up five minutes earlier.

 

[BestWestern]

Someone who doesn't have a good command of English really shouldn't be writing customer service letters. In any case, this isn't grammar, it's using the wrong word.

Agreed.

 

[Wolfie]

I thought the light-hearted initial response was preferable to completely ignoring what was in truth an eminently ignorable and truly pathetic bleat. I must admit that if I had been forced to respond it likely would have been along the lines of "Get a life you sad little *****". All things being even it probably is as well that I don't work in that sort of customer facing role.

 

[Phil.]

No-one's picked up on the author of the letter using "myself" instead of "me" in their criticism of the reply from LUL. It always tickles me when I hear SWT Guards announcing "....and if you need any assistance you'll find myself in the centre of this five coach train. Who teaches these people? Don't they know the correct word is "me".

 

[Welly]

Thanks to that schoolgirl for giving me a good laugh! I needed it!

 

[Deerfold]

No-one's picked up on the author of the letter using "myself" instead of "me" in their criticism of the reply from LUL. It always tickles me when I hear SWT Guards announcing "....and if you need any assistance you'll find myself in the centre of this five coach train. Who teaches these people? Don't they know the correct word is "me".

Yes. That bugs me on East Coast "If myself, or any of my staff can help"... No, it's "I". They seem to have been given a script to learn and few deviate from it.

 

[hassaanhc]

I can guarantee that all of us as a teenager went through a phase where we didn't take responsibility for ourselves and expected everyone else to work around our timings .

Customer service departments receive a lot of the same old stuff from commuters complaining (or usually exaggerating ) that their train is always late, overcrowded, shortformed and that they're the worst train company ever, so they'd probably prefer to read something with a bit more imagination every now and then :P. The offending person would think back in the future and laugh at and/or be embarrassed about what they sent .

 

[Seacook]

I have to say that if I were replying to the original complaint, I would have suggested obtaining one of those newfangled recording devices. Betamix or something similar, I believe.

 

[reb0118]

Don't they know the correct word is "me".

I do!

We must stamp out this "myself" p*sh that is endemic these days. Grrr!

 

[Clip]

I love it when people get all upset about how people say things. If its legible and you get what they are saying then that's all that matters.

Reminds me of a phone in on 5 up all night where some old teacher was narky about grammar and how people say things but some modern day scholar or something kept on telling him basically what I have said above. If you understand it then they have done their job.

 

[reb0118]

....one of those newfangled recording devices. Betamax or something similar, I believe.

Not for much longer according to Des'ree.

 

[AndrewE]

Someone who doesn't have a good command of English really shouldn't be writing customer service letters. In any case, this isn't grammar, it's using the wrong word.

I presume that you will be making a formal complaint to the BBC then, I've just seen this:
"In the meantime, Samarco says it is doing repairs on two other damns it uses to hold waste water which is says are at risk of collapsing"
on their news website!

I'm glad to see that you don't take it as your mission to put down the posters here who haven't got a perfect command of English spelling or grammar!
A

 

[mirodo]

No one like's a pedant.

 

[reb0118]

No one like's a pedant.

Surely "No one likes a pedant"?

D'oh! I just see what you've done their - you've got me. Hook, line, and sinker!

 

[D365]

D'oh! I just see what you've done their - you've got me. Hook, line, and sinker!

Their, they're.

 

[Busaholic]

Willie Donaldson may be dead, but Henry Root lives.