Comedic "things you would ban": minor things that irritate you

[Bletchleyite]

Sweetcorn. Ruins everything it touches. Currently taking up space at my local carvery that could be put to better use.

No, not at all...Chicken and sweetcorn soup, mmm.

 

[D6130]

Sweetcorn. Ruins everything it touches. Currently taking up space at my local carvery that could be put to better use.

I fully agree....and - even worse - pineapple on pizza. What's that all about? Must be an American thing. If you asked for it in a pizzeria in Italy - not that you would find it on the menu - you would be laughed, or possibly thrown, out of the door!

 

[Gloster]

The following is not to be read while eating. Sweetcorn also has the advantage that you can use to see if your digestion is functioning properly (‘bowel transit time’). As the husks don’t break down, you can eat a lot of sweet corn at a meal and then observe when they appear out of the other end. Personally, I have other hobbies to keep me occupied.

 

[yorksrob]

No, not at all...Chicken and sweetcorn soup, mmm.

Why ruin a perfectly good tin of soup !?

I fully agree....and - even worse - pineapple on pizza. What's that all about? Must be an American thing. If you asked for it in a pizzeria in Italy - not that you would find it on the menu - you would be laughed, or possibly thrown, out of the door!

I've always had a lenient view of pineapple on pizza, although since I've given up ham, it would be rather out of place !

The following is not to be read while eating. Sweetcorn also has the advantage that you can use to see if your digestion is functioning properly (‘bowel transit time’). As the husks don’t break down, you can eat a lot of sweet corn at a meal and then observe when they appear out of the other end. Personally, I have other hobbies to keep me occupied.

Read during dinner - and it hasn't put me off !

It does rather illustrate how pointless the stuff is, given we can't even digest it.

 

[GusB]

I can tolerate sweetcorn if it's in small amounts and combined with something else - eg, frozen mixed veg. On its own as a side vegetable, it's a 'no' from me.

As far as pineapple on pizza is concerned, I don't really care as long as there's a decent amount of ham to go with it. It's fairly easy to pick off if necessary, rather like black olives.

 

[duncanp]

Can we ban cucumber from shop bought sandwiches and salads.

I can't stand the effing stuff, but I have lost count of the number of times I have been unable to buy a sandwich because it has a bit of cucumber in it.

Vegans and vegetarians have meat free options.

It should be written into law that every sandwich shop has to provide a cucumber free option as well.

 

[Bletchleyite]

I can't stand the effing stuff, but I have lost count of the number of times I have been unable to buy a sandwich because it has a bit of cucumber in it.

Er, open the sandwich and take it out? It literally tastes of nothing, it's just cellulose and water.

 

[duncanp]

Er, open the sandwich and take it out? It literally tastes of nothing, it's just cellulose and water.

If it "...tastes of nothing...", there doesn't seem to be much point in it being in the sandwich in the first place.

 

[birchesgreen]

I like cucumber in sandwiches, now sliced tomato can do one...

 

[nlogax]

If it "...tastes of nothing...", there doesn't seem to be much point in it being in the sandwich in the first place.

Cucumbers are the easiest things to remove from a sandwich if you don’t like them. It’s not as if they’re like tomatoes and get squished into the other contents.

 

[Bletchleyite]

If it "...tastes of nothing...", there doesn't seem to be much point in it being in the sandwich in the first place.

It provides nice texture and moistening.

 

[Techniquest]

It provides nice texture and moistening.

Probably also favoured by sandwich makers for bulking out a sandwich! Personally, I don't like cucumber and I tried ways to make it appeal a bit more, but I just couldn't enjoy it. I've tried it though, so that's a plus.

Sweetcorn can jog on too, and I hope there is at least one person who reads that and pictures a cob of corn jogging down the street Not for me thanks!

Now if I was to be served up a big plate full of potatoes, carrots, swede and peas, oh yes please! Cover it all in a nice and thick onion gravy, I will happily have that! Sadly I have no swede, peas or gravy in my cupboard, so I cannot go make that meal. I've sure made myself hungry though!

The fact that some people may choose to add sweetcorn to such a meal concerns me I'm starting to really dislike Sunday trading law as I would be dashing off to Sainsburys to get the relevant ingredients otherwise!

 

[Mcr Warrior]

Sweetcorn can jog on too, and I hope there is at least one person who reads that and pictures a cob of corn jogging down the street

We aim to please on railforums.co.uk.

 

[Merle Haggard]

There's two things I've noticed about professionally made sandwiches.

If you take the two triangles of bread and put them together along the diagonal cut the result doesn't look like a slice from any normal loaf and

There's always lots of filling visible through the diagonal cut but, if you remove the top slice of bread, you can often see that the filling is confined to a narrow strip each side of that cut, with virtually nothing in the corners.

But they still taste better than ones I make myself...

 

[py_megapixel]

If you take the two triangles of bread and put them together along the diagonal cut the result doesn't look like a slice from any normal loaf

I think some sandwich production lines stack two complete sandwiches on top of each other and then cut through both at once, with each side being sold as one "sandwich", so what you are actually getting is either two top halves or two bottom halves.

 

[Techniquest]

We aim to please on railforums.co.uk.

View attachment 113550

Nice! I've got to save that and send it to someone I know, they'll love it! Thanks

 

[Merle Haggard]

I think some sandwich production lines stack two complete sandwiches on top of each other and then cut through both at once, with each side being sold as one "sandwich", so what you are actually getting is either two top halves or two bottom halves.

Thanks, that does explain the shape - when I've tried it, it must have been two bottom halves, so the result was a square.

 

[gg1]

I like cucumber in sandwiches, now sliced tomato can do one...

Definitely, aside from having very little taste they're the number 1 cause of my biggest sandwich related pet hate, soggy bread.

 

[Bletchleyite]

Definitely, aside from having very little taste they're the number 1 cause of my biggest sandwich related pet hate, soggy bread.

If properly buttered with a thick layer of real butter it won't go soggy. Why would I want to spread chemical junk on it? Like sugar in tea, it's not something you have enough of for it to have a massive effect on your waistline or cholesterol.

 

[Bald Rick]

I think some sandwich production lines stack two complete sandwiches on top of each other and then cut through both at once, with each side being sold as one "sandwich", so what you are actually getting is either two top halves or two bottom halves.

Having worked on sandwich production lines many years ago, yes this is the case. But...

Also, the loaves used in Sandwich ‘factories’ are made to a shape specifically for the sandwich business.

 

[yorksrob]

There's always lots of filling visible through the diagonal cut but, if you remove the top slice of bread, you can often see that the filling is confined to a narrow strip each side of that cut, with virtually nothing in the corners.

But they still taste better than ones I make myself...

I remember when That's Life used to do a competition for the most pathetically stingy shop bought sandwich and shame the guilty companies on the telly

 

[Bletchleyite]

Actually, re the above, margarine. There is just no excuse for spreading chemicals on sandwiches. I'm OK with Lurpak Spreadable (the only spreadable that tastes actually like butter, unlike the one which I can definitely, without any doubt believe is not - even the Aldi fake version is vile) because it saves you having to slice it when it's been in the fridge, but margarine? In the sea with you.

I get that vegans might want a quality olive oil based spread (and there's nowt wrong with dipping bread in olive oil, it's the default in Italy), but to the rest of you - seriously?

 

[yorksrob]

Actually, re the above, margarine. There is just no excuse for spreading chemicals on sandwiches. I'm OK with Lurpak Spreadable (the only spreadable that tastes actually like butter, unlike the one which I can definitely, without any doubt believe is not - even the Aldi fake version is vile) because it saves you having to slice it when it's been in the fridge, but margarine? In the sea with you.

I get that vegans might want a quality olive oil based spread (and there's nowt wrong with dipping bread in olive oil, it's the default in Italy), but to the rest of you - seriously?

I quite like Clover.

I think that QI once mentioned that technically margarine is now banned, the current day "spreads" being chemically different.

 

[Bletchleyite]

I quite like Clover.

I think that QI once mentioned that technically margarine is now banned, the current day "spreads" being chemically different.

Apparently, according to Wiki, it (marge, not Clover specifically, which I don't think I've tried) was originally a coal by-product!

One glance at that article, though*, is enough to make me even more resolute that that muck should never, ever be allowed to disgrace any bread I am consuming. Yuck!

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margarine

 

[Peter Mugridge]

It should be written into law that every sandwich shop has to provide a cucumber free option as well.

A mayonnaise free option should be a mandatory requirement.

 

[Bletchleyite]

A mayonnaise free option should be a mandatory requirement.

Mayonnaise is favoured in packet sandwiches because it holds things together well. I quite like it, but if you want a sandwich without it the best way is probably to go somewhere that makes them on-spec.

 

[D6130]

A mayonnaise free option should be a mandatory requirement.

In my experience, most sandwich manufacturers now have mayonnaise-free options in order to cater for vegans and people with lacto-ovo allergies and intolerances. However, trying to get hold of one from an on-train catering trolley or station food franchise can often be challenging!

 

[GatwickDepress]

No, not at all...Chicken and sweetcorn soup, mmm.

My go-to sick day soup, that. Absolutely fantastic with some thick buttered bread.

 

[Runningaround]

All Lurpak especially the spreadable ones. The fat on full milk is closer to butter. It has no flavour and the ''buttery'' margarines taste better. Don't know why such horrible tasting ''butter'' has become so popular its probably the UK shopper being so easily led by marketing over substance. Proper butter is even cheaper and is better for cooking, just keep it in a cool cupboard.

Cricket: Hardly anyone else plays it outside the former colonies, so it's the same opponents over and over again. It's so boring they keep adding new formats to reduce the tediousness. If any sport needs to shorten the time it's watched then it's not worth watching.

 

[Bletchleyite]

All Lurpak especially the spreadable ones. The fat on full milk is closer to butter. It has no flavour and the ''buttery'' margarines taste better. Don't know why such horrible tasting ''butter'' has become so popular its probably the UK shopper being so easily led by marketing over substance. Proper butter is even cheaper and is better for cooking, just keep it in a cool cupboard.

Funny you say that as I think Lurpak Spreadable is really pretty good. It also keeps for literally months in the fridge while remaining spreadable, good for us low users.

The fat on full-fat milk is cream, not butter, though you can turn it into butter if you have enough of it.