HUMOR: TV rail channel schedule version 2!

[RepTCTC]

Ready, Steady, Go! - Get ready for the dirty looks and passive-aggressive comments in this gameshow in which longer distance commuters battle in an attempt to find to seat on the new class 700s.

Now get out of that! - Gameshow in which the same group of commuters attempt to exit a crush loaded 444 from their seat before it departs from the station (or the sun goes supernova, whichever happens first). Warning : this programme contains strong language and mild violence.

I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here! - As per the above, except with the one from the Pussycat Dolls. Or was it The Spice Girls? Oh, dunno, her anyway. You know, with the teeth and hair and stuff. If in doubt, ask a teenager, or even better, just go to the pub.

 

[Southwest]

8.00pm SLUT: The South London Underground Transit team discover that they are under threat of redundancy and have to work together to keep their jobs

Sadly, the programme based around the nocturnal workings of the Cannonbury Underground Night Team has had to be withdrawn.

 

[krus_aragon]

FILM: Passport to Pimlico
The latest revision to the London fare zones mistakenly leaves Pimlico station zoneless. Oyster passengers on the Victoria line are required to hold a paper ticket for Victoria to Vauxhall to continue their journey.

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

12.15 Here Come The Sheriffs: In today's episode, John and Steve visit the offices of GWR to recover the cost of a season ticket after a passenger was charged twice, given a ticket with wrong details and then sent a Court Notice. When the company refuses to pay up, the Sheriffs are forced to start seizing the company's assets

 

[backontrack]

This one isn't railway linked:

2016 Six Nations: Previews Pundits discuss the hopes of England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales in the Rugby Union Six Nations tournaments, as Jeremy Guscott confidently predicts that England will win everything. Features exclusive interviews with the team captains, as John Inverdale asks Dylan Hartley why he 'will never be a looker'.

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

8.30pm Fifty Shades of Train:- Janice is made very wet and hot after a leaking HST roof and the aircon is stuck on full

 

[Dennis]

17.00 Time Team, a look inside the delay attribution office

 

[krus_aragon]

This afternoon, as Hitachi's controversial SuperExpress Trains near completion, we take an enthusiast's look at the life of their predecessors, the HST.

That's Songs of Praise, at 4:15.

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

8.30pm Going Down On HER- Trouble brews when the Heathrow Express Railway service has multiple failures

 

[AJM580]

9:00 Back in Time for the Weekend, A group of 80's bashers relive their youth at the Mid Norfolk Diesel Gala by invading the leading coach behind 47367 and flailing like mad as the Sulzer storms up Danemoor. Also starring the 37 bashers on the short set.

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

9:00 Back in Time for the Weekend, A group of 80's bashers relive their youth at the Mid Norfolk Diesel Gala by invading the leading coach behind 47367 and flailing like mad as the Sulzer storms up Danemoor. Also starring the 37 bashers on the short set.

Guest Starring, for the first time on live TV, Doctor Death

Dr Death by N7242C, on Flickr

 

[backontrack]

Pol(esworth)dark: Aidan Turner replaces his shirt with an anorak and becomes a rail enthusiast. There's a lot of topless number-taking as his rides on creaky EMUs in the picturesque Black Country scenery of Tamworth.

 

[CC 72100]

11:30 - Crash in the attic
Chaos ensues in the attic as damp conditions on the model railway brings disaster to Skaledale...

 

[tsr]

1930: Mixed Traffic Cops

On Mixed Traffic Cops, drama ensues as a trainspotter at Eridge sees an assorted variety of trucks and eclectic pieces of mobile p-way equipment, giving chase to Forge Farm Crossing, where he discovers why camera insurance is so important when some bits of ballast come off and hit his DSLR.

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

9.30 pm: Life at 100 - David finds out what happens you you attempt to get a Class 37 to do the magic three figures

 

[Drogba11CFC]

7:30 am Scooby DOO- The meddling kids are unable to solve the mystery due to industrial action on Southern.

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

10:30 pm Wide Eyed And Legless - Follow the antics on the last train out of Newcastle when a bunch of drunks board

 

[heart-of-wessex]

Those last two! !! Brilliant!

 

[backontrack]

Line of Duty - Martin Compston and Adrian Dunbar become RPIs on the Borderlands Line.

 

[Lankyline]

16.00 - Playschool episode 253 - Looking through the round window, today we see children designing the new generation of Pendolino carriages and are still unable to see out of them despite the booster seats

 

[SS4]

18:30 - The Amazing Race

Can our intrepid contestants make their train when platform is changed at short notice at Birmingham New Street?

 

[AJM580]

Football Focus

Roy Hodgson is quizzed by members of this forum as to whether he will be playing 4-4-2 at the forthcoming Euro 2016 finals, and if not why not as it is the greatest football formation known to mankind ever.

 

[backontrack]

18:15 - Four in a Bed

Passengers have to move to desperate measures when the Caledonian Sleeper is short-formed.

 

[Dennis]

3.32 Springwatch. Live, from Old Oak Common.

 

[Alex 2901]

Tonight on the bus channel, channel 529:

At 15:55 We ask "When do you think you are?"

A young Bus spotter waits for his Bus for 55 minutes because Arriva left the old 68 timetable up...

At 16:50, the programme finally starts!

At 17:30 the program finishes with no one watching, making the council wonder why it's even put on in the first place...

 

[backontrack]

18:35 FILM: Monuments Lane Men
George Clooney stars as Harbornite in this comedy about a gang who attempt to recover a priceless Parry People Mover and ride it all the way to Harborne. 90 mins

 

[HMS Ark Royal]

1.00pm FILM: Naval Gunfire - When trains are held at a standstill in front of 50044 Exeter, the locomotive crew open up with their 4.5in main gun and blast their way along the ECML and into York

 

[Harbornite]

18:35 FILM: Monuments Lane Men
George Clooney stars as Harbonite in this comedy about a gang who attempt to steal a priceless Parry People Mover and ride it all the way to Harborne. 90 mins

In all serious, we would rather the line remained closed than have Parry People movers. Us Harborne folk are way too posh for those! Having said that, it sounds like a genuinely good program and one that I'd watch.

 

[backontrack]

In all serious, we would rather the line remained closed than have Parry People movers. Us Harborne folk are way too posh for those! Having said that, it sounds like a genuinely good program and one that I'd watch.

Great, thanks! It's a spoof of a film called Monuments Men.

 

[GarethJohn]

17:00: Just how did one of Maggie Thatcher's cabinet members, Michael Portillo become popular among a Unionised sector?